Rethinking Resolutions

After watching the Lakers' last two games, I'm kind of at odds on whether I should rethink my resolution.

I love the Lakers, and I like the Clippers, and I still would LOVE to see a game live (my next chance is THIS month on the 21st), but I did not take into account a very important factor.

Free Jack in the Box tacos whenever the Lakers win a game and keep their opponents stay under 100 points.

Friday's game was pretty good, and the Lakers had a pretty comfortable game at the end of the game, but I was surprised when Utah made an easy basket that was too little, too late, and the crowd let out a big sigh of disappointment. I asked why, and that's when I was told of this promotion.

Last night was fun, because the Lakers had the game in the refrigerator, and the crowd stayed in their seats and chanted, "WE WANT TACOS!" and their request was granted. Some spectators kept chanting it outside during the postgame report.

As much as I like both teams, I also like free tacos. I'd be happy if either team won, but I'd be sad if the Clippers were to lose at the expense of hundreds of people to get free tacos. I'd be even sadder to see people chanting for tacos against the Clippers, too. That would make for a not-so-great resolution.


BUT THEN...
This is only for Lakers home games. I guess I just have to make sure I go to the two remaining games where they're playing at Clippers (though they play in the same space). That way, it's also bit cheaper.

Oh...that's this month. I don't think I could afford the tickets at this point if they're still available...

...back to the drawing board... :C

Retrospect and Possible New Year's Resolutions.

2008 was a doozy. It was the year of the Rat.
It was also the year of rejection for me. I seriously have never been rejected so hard so many times in my life before. It's quite a contrast from 10 years ago when I felt like I could do anything, having never been rejected from anything in my life.

But this year had some pretty awesome moments.
Like...
Seeing a red panda in person for the first time.
Admitting to myself (and others) how I've been depriving myself of the things I love doing most.
Realizing I have a lot more to offer to this world and I've been holding back.
Acknowledging those who stand by me and love me in each person's own way.
LEAVING THE US AGAIN AND RETURNING TO GERMAN-SPEAKING COUNTRIES
Made a great effort to get myself out of toxic situations and relationships.
Being able to talk and dream about things and ideas with brilliant and inspiring people.
Making a greater effort in doing the things I believe in and support.
Standing up for myself more.
Fitting back into my favorite pair of jeans before they broke (unrelated to fit of lack of it thereof - it actually fit me perfectly before it busted).
Fully realizing how easily peoples' moods around me greatly affect me, and that I need to avoid those who are negative, and surround myself with those who are positive.

I'll take that. Though I'll be happy to see the end of this year as I look forward to this new one.

I'd like to read more.
I'd like to create more.
I'd like to make a greater effort to utilize and learn the digital darkroom.
I'd like to truly appreciate digital photography for what it has to offer.
I'd like to write more.
I want to be greener.
I want to be healthier.
I want to run in my park.
I want to be more active in the communities/causes I support.
I want to be more efficient with my time.
I want to run a marathon.
I want to work with my hands.
I want to take more used coffee grounds from Starbucks and use them.
I want to save money so I can go places.
I should use my Disney points I've saved up and use the miles I've earned (maybe).
I want to get my bike fix and actually use it.
I should make a better effort cooking again.
I still want to spend an entire night not sleeping and spending that time with people.
I want to reconnect with those who love and inspire me, and maintain connection with the ones I am connected to.
I need to be more patient.
I have to be better to myself.
I need some fine wine and...need to be nicer
I need to fall in love with music again.
I need to obsess over more things and use that to inspire me.
I need to go to the Huntington more.
I want to talk to people.
I want to be more personable.

It's a much bigger bite than I can chew, but I guess I can see how far I can get. I've got a few days, right?

NYE

The LA Times printed an article on Sunday's Image section that features a Champagne glass, a TiVo remote, and an eye mask, asking, "What are you doing for New Year's Eve?" and how it is such a loaded question.

Because it is.

I called a friend one year who was leaving for Berlin for an indefinite amount of time to hang out and to see what she was doing for NYE. "NOTHING!" She declared, "I fucking HATE New Year's Eve. It's not a holiday!"

...and essentially, it's not.

But what's the big deal about doing something for the new year?

I haven't had the most exciting track record for NYE goings-on, which is interesting, having grown up in the San Gabriel Valley, home of the Rose Parade and Rose Bowl game on New Year's Day. Though I haven't seen the parade in person (which I do hope to finally do one year), for many, many years (until I stopped living in a house with a consistent TV signal), I would always make sure to be (mostly) awake for the live, commercial-free telecast of the parade on Channel 5. If anything, that would be the extent of my New Year's celebration/tradition.

This year, for some reason, I've been approached and asked what about this year? How will I welcome 2009? This year has been a particularly interesting one - for the past I don't know how many years, all even-numbered years have been good ones, when the odd-numbered ones haven't been so great. 2008 was filled with a lot of bad and good, perhaps teetering more on the bad, and it seems that such was the case for many, many people (and countries, and companies, etc.), and I definitely got the brunt of some pretty stinky things happening in my life.

With that said, how do I say goodbye to a not-well-served year, and to welcome in what I would hope to be a much better one?

If I had my druthers, I would wish to literally be nowhere, and do nothing...but I guess that would be impossible.

There are places and things that I could be and doing, but I almost want to be fair to all of them and NOT participate in any, and if I were on the right side of the country, it would be cool to be one of the first people in the continental US to see the first sunrise of the year. I'd rather not make a big deal of it, but I also feel dumb making an effort to not make a big deal of it, because you essentially are making a big deal of it (kind of like those who are SOOOOooo anti-Valentine's Day).

So where that that put me? I haven't committed to anything yet, and I'm glad those who know me know not to pressure me into a decision. I may very well manage to get myself a Thermos of good hot chocolate and a good lookout point and see the clock strike 12 over the city and just chill there until the crazies clear the road. Who knows?

WOO HOO!

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lab.drwicked.com

What I wrote is not going to be published, as it's a mess. But I think the pending doom at my fingertips is a very good motivator for me, and knowing that I may be "punished" at any moment. I'm not really thinking about editing myself, and I'm just allowing myself to write. I am too scared to actually see what the consequences are for not writing, and it may be good to aspire to not ever experience it firsthand.

Since I spent some time writing this, I will have to put off a proper entry that I wanted to write here, for I think it definitely would make for a wonderful entry in my adventure blog, I think it's more of a personal thing, and should I actually wind up writing about it, I don't think it will be a loaded as it would be should I post it in my personal blog.

In other news, I have been thinking about posting more to this blog, but I've come to realize that I have no desire to really talk about my personal happenings as much anymore. A lot of the entries, if not all, on the other blog are based on first hand experiences, and is a little window as to what I've been doing in my life, but obviously is not a full account of what I've been up to. I think I like that. Who wants to hear the piddly details of me little life, anyway? At least what I do want to write here next will be informative and mildly entertaining for the stranger sort.

I Happened upon This

My Yahoo! horoscope for today:

Just because you said goodbye to someone doesn't mean that they still can't inspire or affect your future in a positive way. You take them with you wherever you go, and they will always be a part of you. So try to switch from sadness to gratitude that you ever got to know them in the first place! Your feelings are important to honor, but you cannot let them control your goals in life. Use your head today and start moving again, in a new direction.

Interesting, especially considering what I discovered yesterday.

This is funny that I ran into this, as it seems to encapsulate a lot of what's been going on with me for the entire year practically.

I Quit My Job.

I'm out!

My two weeks are already ticking away, and I don't have a permanent job lined up. Scary? Yes. Sane? I hope this move will be.

Perhaps the more concerning part of this move is the fact that I have this trip to Germany in practically a month, which will make it difficult for me to find another within this time frame as well as trying to finance it with not a guaranteed source of income in sight.

...I have been asked if I would consider working part time after my two weeks is up (November), which I may do, but I've also signed up at a temp agency and may be able to get some work in that way.

Either way, I am completely burned out on all this job searching that I've been doing for the past several months, and I'm in this strange place where I'm either semi-desperate to apply for a job or very, very picky on minute details of the job description. At the very least, I've broadened my job search to include positions where I'd be very happy doing, rather than just applying for the jobs I know I could do. It's too bad my main passions are pretty competitive and/or not well-paying. Bummer.

If I had my way, I'd be able to support myself and my current bum of a lifestyle (like scrounging up for Germany) taking pictures, writing a bunch of junk, and feeding miniature donkeys as my bread and butter.

PS - If anyone knows anyone or any place that's hiring, particularly if they're okay with me being gone for 5 official workdays next month, drop me a line.

STORY OF MY LIFE

In other news, Blogger is a great way to want to pull your hair out because it's so damn strict with its coding. I only say that because it always always always makes you close your tags, which I guess is something you should do and is a good habit, but DAMMIT SOMETIMES IT DOESN"T MATTER AND I AM LAZY TO CLOSE MY TAGS.

So thank you, Blogger, for making me a holdin' on to the 90's I-still-build-pages-using-Notepad but very tight with my coding HTML writer.

HTML 4 proper was finalized back in 1999. And I'm sure you're surprised I'm not watching DVDs of original 90210 when new 90210 is airing.

(For the record, I do not own old 90210 on DVD, and I've only seen two episodes of the new one)

"Selling Out"

I'm going to try not to get all music snob right now, but I'm going to be talking about music, and that always runs the risk of that happening.

Ready?

I've liked the group, The Submarines for some time before iPhone decided to let their cute little ditty play all over the 3G commercials.

I don't have a TV in my house, but I've been watching enough of it to know...and you know, too:
Yeah, that one.

Now, I have to be careful here, because I've had a former bestest friend in the world who HATED to talk music with me, because he had this crazy notion that he thought that I thought I was the alpha and omega when it came about talking about music, and he thought that so strongly that he even told other people that I was as well, so when I talked music with them, they would tell me that they were otherwise warned that talking music with Mz. Muzak-Can't-be-Wrong is just an uphill battle.

I could never say that about myself. All I can say is that I'm very passionate about music when you get me in my musical element, that's all.

That said, I'll now say this:
What I don't like about the commercials is that they just use the instrumental track and don't even use the vox, which make me really sad. That's because I really like that song and I actually do get excited when those commercials come on, only without the vocals and it makes me sad and makes me want to fill in for her cute, raspy voice, and well frankly, it's just not the same.

...and no, I'm not all bent out of shape that Apple is using their music, thus cheapening the music for their real fans. Please. Just like I can't get all upset that they're using Muse clips during the Olympics and the like.

Now I'll say this:
How can you not love LA with all the amazing music that comes out of here? I mean, sure, there's TONS of amazing music that's being made, a lot of them NOT coming from LA, but you have to admit, there's like something in the water that makes for good music from these parts (Thanks, Mr. Mulholland and Northern California!). Yes...wanna know how good it is? It's so good that when I'm in Salzburg, A Fine Frenzy will be playing there and how cool would it be to see a local act on the other side of the world?

We're good.


...maybe I won't end this entry on such a downer, so I'll leave it with this instead:

No, these guys aren't from LA (the water's not THAT good around here), they're from Brooklyn. And if you haven't already, you should really see the official music video for this song (No embedding allowed for this one).

Maybe I've Been Living in a Fashion Cave.

I won't hide it but I like and I'll tell you I'm subscribed to the American Apparel newsletter.

It's pretty entertaining, I'll tell you that much...kind of like the one the sent on Super Tuesday persuading their readers to vote for Hilary Clinton if they're Democrat-leaning, and for McCain if they're Republican-slanted.

But this one has be slightly baffled:

I never thought ties to be gender-specific. Sure, the ladies never really wore them regularly in the past as men have, but are the gender-specific ties any different? are the button and button holes on different sides like jeans and shirts? Different silhouette?

If anyone can help me unravel this mystery, I'm more than happy to learn.

Coincidence?

I'm currently listening to (or was, up until Coincidence #2 called) the Presidential Debate on KCRW (Shameless plug) via iTunes when I guess the stream crapped out, which made iTunes went to the "next track" and started playing the below song (though a cover):



Have you made up your mind?

Coincidence #3: I think it may have been about this time last year (Yes, I'm not going to check because I'm lazy and the fact that I'm writing this at work when I've been off the clock for 20 minutes now makes me wonder why I'm even writing this right now) that I posted this very same song on my blog. Only it didn't have some Cary Grant theme to it and just had a whole bunch of pictures of hippies.

20/20

I once told my first boss of my first real job that I'll stay working with him so long as I'm not creatively inhibited. I lasted there for 20 months, even though I felt like I already learned everything that I could learn even before my probationary period was over. Part of the reason why I stayed there that long is because with that job, I was able to pay off all remaining debts I had from college then immediately take a 14 day trip backpacking around Europe, managed to train to run a marathon in New Orleans and raise $3,000 to help support AIDS Project Los Angeles, save up for when I quit I had well over $10k saved up, and still was able to buy a camera or two and take a few photo classes in the process, while doing shoots for friends and for myself. As soon as I quit, I skipped town for the Big Apple, where I did two photo shoots while there and then came home to take a photo class or two before I was tied down to my next full-time commitments.

It was for the most part, a good time in my life.

Financially, that was a very bell-curved time, and as I look back, the times when I was at my peak in saving more money than I ever fathomed I could ever save, was the time I was most miserable.

I don't think I was ever destined to have much money in the bank.

That's not to say that I have a lot right now, but I have more money than I've had in the past year, and even though I could have more if I were a little smarter with my money, my most recent big expenditures have been for things that have/will make me very happy.

I hate thinking about money. I simply hate it. I guess it's a necessary evil, but I was much happier two years ago when I barely had any, but I had a lot more free time on my hands and was doing things I wanted to do.

I'm not doing much of what I want to do right now...writing more, taking more pictures, at least coming up with ideas for fun picture-taking opportunities, and this past Friday when I got to see some old friends jam at a small coffee house in Long Beach, I realized how much I miss performing and just monkeying around with some brilliantly musical people and shoot the musical shit, listening to others try to get their collective talents to possibly play an entire song, and be happy with the few occasions when I'd somehow contribute. I miss talking shop with those folks about the little nuances about songs and lyrics, and trying to figure out harmonies and chords together. I know some really big music nerds, and though I have been spending time with some pretty musically sharp people, it's been some time that I've spent time with people who are just always willing to pick up an instrument and jam.

It's rather sad that in 4 short years, I've lost track with what was the most important thing for me - for I've been living through this desert void of little, if any bits of creativity for the past two years. I miss the sleepless nights when my mind could not rest as some idea for a project stews in my brain, or the frustration I sometimes have after burning the creative candle out (as strange as it is to explain). I miss pulling my hair out when something is not working out the way I wanted it, and even though I really don't, I do kind of miss having to be careful of my clothing as I've ruined several good shirts with fixer from the wet darkroom. I miss writing non-pathetic and sad blog entries, and I oftentimes feel something bubbling inside that needs to be written out, but every time I try to get it out, I lose steam too quickly. I don't even know the last I actually played the guitar, and I've forgotten how to play chords.

I have to do a better job trying to balance things in my life - I need to find a way where I can be a responsible, money-making (and saving) adult who needs to pay for things like a car and rent, but still be able to creatively express myself. I've been able to satisfy one for the most part, but I think the other that I've completely neglected is something more important to have in my life than I ever thought (denial, perhaps?), that it's made me into this person that I don't think I really am (miserable).

I need a new game plan.

Going to Hell?

I'm not an atheist, so imagine my surprise last night when I came very close to chopping off my thumb and thought to myself, "Thank evolution for fingernails!"

I don't know why I didn't think to myself "Thank God for fingernails!," but at that moment of thumb-sparing, the former phrase seemed to make more sense to me.

Am I going to Hell?

Or have these sound bytes from Sarah Palin and her super Evangelical speakings have scared me a bit?

BLOGARGH

I've come to realize that my blog layout is for some reason, all ways wonky. The sidebar stuff is all the way to the bottom, and when I try to see if it's set incorrectly, the layout template says it's all good. But it's not. Oh well. I guess with more time, I can tinker with some settings, as I have a redesign in mind anyway. Too bad I'm very rusty in my code.

I don't think that anyone would notice, including my lack of writing my morning rambles. I won't lie and say that I've been doing them all every day on a paper notebook, for I have missed a day or two here and there, but I have made the jump from using this blog as a sounding board to the pen and paper realm. I really do miss writing, but then again, I also miss doing lots of things, like reading books, writing more, having time to take non-cat pictures during daylight, playing Mario Kart, etc. But I guess life just sometimes has to make us make priorities. Damn priorities.

Even though it seemed I had a giant creative spike last week, I think I'm still riding on that, but on a much smaller wave. I should be more diligent on my writing, and after spending an entire week photographing kitties, I decided to get the hell out of dodge and take pictures in places that had much nicer weather and very nice views (I took some pics of the long, hot period from when I was in Silverlake for Sunset Junction, and that was a wash). I have continued to photograph this week, but on a much smaller scale - I've been taking pictures of things I've been eating a of late, including my semi-impulsive meal at McDonald's and my sister's homemade bibimbop. I actually haven't spent much time on my own computer this week, which is why I haven't downloaded the images, and thus created some good blogging material that's a bit different from my daily ramblings.

Methinks that when I redesign my blog page, I'll use one of my newer images. Not that I love this image of the truck I took ages ago, but I'm thinking I should go for something a bit...cheerier.

Outside Ourselves

I've been awake for well over an hour at this point, when I would otherwise be slowly waking up to the radio right now. It's not to be today, for one, I forgot to turn on my alarm to go off this morning, and because I didn't spend the night here.

I had decided to go visit my family and actually try to watch a bit of Olympics there, which is something I have set as a goal for myself if I don't have anything planned for myself. Unfortunately, I do have several things working against me, the biggest one being the fact that my home doesn't have a TV that gets a television signal, so I can't readily watch it, and when I do wind up in Monrovia to sit and watch the games, I wind up sleeping during some of the best parts, and this last trip was no exception.

I at least got to wake up to see the USA basketball team play against Germany, and even though Germany has two NBA players, not to mention the fact that they do have some of Europe's top players (because they do have good teams over there, which is surprising to some), USA was very much kicking their butts. Still, I think I'm just preconditioned to just...sleep during certain events; as I was sitting and catching some of the game before I left to come back to LA, I did nod off for a few moments. I suppose it doesn't help that I was up and at 'em at 5 am after going to sleep sometime after 1, but still, I didn't think I'd be such a sleepy person nodding off at any moment that I could get.

The other interesting thing is that I feel as though I have a completely new responsibility this week in my own home: In a sense, I'm kind of house-sitting, but more specifically, I'm cat-sitting. I was told this past Friday that my roommate would be gone the entire week on vacation with her family, leaving me completely alone in the house save for the two little monsters to keep me company. At this time, and with the history that I now have with the place, I would otherwise opt to maybe not spend that much of my time here, but with the cats here who need attention, food and a clean litter box, I'm more apt to stay here during the week. I suppose that it wouldn't be bad to fill their food and water bowls and have their box clean for a few more hours than they're used to (which happens on occasion), but I don't want to leave them completely alone and lonely, especially since my roommate has closed her bedroom doors to them (with due reason - I don't even keep my door open when I'm not here in danger of getting all my stuff roughed up by the paws of some rambunctious kitties). So long as I know that they will have enough food for the overnight, I wouldn't mind not spending the night completely alone in this empty house maybe one or twice this week, and I think our neighbor has the key so he could check on them, too.

It probably doesn't help that my roommate hasn't been working since last week, so she's actually been here at night, which isn't something that's consistently happened for practically the entire summer, and I do say that it does give myself a certain piece of mind. Sure, she wasn't around at night when she was working the night shift. But it's a little different knowing that she's not here at all this week, not filling the space with her presence, whether I'm here or not. It's not like this is the first time I've been by myself in this place when she's been gone, for she was traveling a lot last year for conferences and the sort. It does give a different feeling to the place, cats or not, and that's something I'm very unfamiliar with nowadays, especially after what happened last month.

I don't know. It's not like I'm trying to focus on this uncomfortable aspect of it, but it was something my roommate was worried about with me, considering everything that has happened. It is something that I can't ignore, and maybe I should make sure that I don't put myself in a position where I'm afraid to come home from any place I'd have to be in the evening during the week, or that I'd be apprehensive about being in this emptier house during the night.

I suppose only time will tell.

More on Morning Pages

Can be found on this site.

I have a feeling that even though this time is supposed to be used as free association writing, I should attempt at putting some kind of structure to it...such as writing for a certain time period, since I'm not writing longhand, and on a blog, three pages is kind of an arbitrary thing. Maybe I could start in Word then transfer here? then I probably wouldn't publish it. Even if I did, what would be my employed paragraph spacing? Should I correct my mistakes (I have been). I guess the point isn't to publish, but maybe it's good for me to see on my own blog that I'm able to put something out there...though I'm sure that down the road, I'll want to write about things that I otherwise wouldn't want to disclose in this blog.

I'll have to give this some thought.

Count on Nobody and No One Will Let You Down

There was this book that my family somehow happened to own called The Music Book. It was a shiny, red hardcover book with the title in big lettering on the front, and the whole thing looked pretty sleek. It was of good length of material in there, and it was chock-full of a bunch of random music information.

I don't think I knew how to read when I first recall seeing the book, but eventually, I went through the book, not thoroughly, but I do remember looking at things that caught my eye. One section was on the ukulele, and it even showed how it was tuned. It was some time when I figured out that I could get my old little Casio keyboard, play those notes corresponding to the ones in the book, so I could tune my plastic pink ukulele with rainbow note stickers on it (and I eventually used to tune the semi-real one we got from the Philippines a while later).

One part of the book I vividly remember was this part that had an illustration of some trees and clouds with a rainbow and a happy sun in the background. I had (still have) a thing for rainbows (in not the homosexual sense - I kind of have mixed feelings about how that part of the population took ownership of the colorful beams of light - it's not that I'm against homosexuality and they shouldn't have something to represent that lifestyle, it's just that I really like rainbows, and I don't identify with the semiotic relationship between rainbows and homosexuals and therefore feel misrepresented when I admit to my rainbow love and I am automatically classified as a homosexual for it. In short, I do have Rainbow Love, in both loving rainbows and love the fact that people of the same sex loving each other, but I myself am not in love with persons of the same sex as me, that's all), so I would always turn to that page because I thought it was a nice illustration. Following it was the sheet music for "You've Got a Friend."


Thanks to my parents' rather good taste in music, I was more than familiar with the song, and when my dad told me that he loved that song, I was happy to learn the lyrics for it, and I pretended that I knew how to read the notes since I knew the song already. Eventually, I did manage to play the notes on my Casio.

What's funny about this song in particular is the fact that my mom hates that song.

It's because it was "the song" for my dad and one of his ex-girlfriends.

Even funnier is whenever that song is ever played in the presence of my mom and/or dad, they always manage to express their hate/love for it.

I like it.

It's a little too late and I'm a bit too tired to remember what the point was of telling that story, but here it is anyway.


Oh.

It's because this song was stuck in my head...which is quite the opposite of Carol King's song.


Man...I really, really liked this band.

LA LA LA LA LA...

Dialogue of the Day:

Me and my friend were in a park and come upon a 4' x 10' ish slab of concrete, right next to a sidewalk. There was no indication that it's really used for anything.

Friend: What is this thing for?
Me: We should just leave it alone.
Friend: Come on, we're college graduates, we can figure it out...
Me: We're not civil engineers.
Friend: Gahhhhhh!

I went for a walk around the hills of Monterey Park, on a 2 mile tour going up and down and up hills, past a cute park, lots of neat houses, many neighbors out on a cool evening with a view of the LA Basin, and a SNAKE!

A SNAKE!

What was a snake doing on a driveway in the middle of Monterey Park? It looked kind of like a not-from-around-here snake, and I'm pretty sure this was my first time actually setting eyes on a snake that wasn't contained and controlled, for this little buddy wasn't so well watched over. I was in some state of disbelief, as evidenced by the way I presented it to my friend:

Me: Oh, look, there's a snake.
Friend: What?!? WHERE?!?!?

She went running ahead as I just kind of stood there trying to comprehend the fact that I was looking at a black and (most likely) yellow snake at this person's house with barking dogs. It didn't seem aggressive, and I was just thinking if it had an owner and it went missing and was missed by its family. I also wondered if the thing was poisonous and that I should exercise more caution being within 5 feet of a snake. I'm pretty sure that any indigenous snake of the area (MONTEREY PARK!?!?) would be more earth-toned and not tropical (and/or danger) colored.

Other than that, it was a very wonderful 2-mile walk, which was a bit of a challenge for out of shape me, but it was a nice go at things, especially since I did manage to pack my spare running shoes with me in my car from the possibility of running track with other friends.

Plus, I got a free schrunchie after all that's said and done. Scrunchies were things that were really cool and popular back in the day when I didn't have hair long enough to actually use them, but that didn't stop me from wearing them around my wrists. But look, I can wear them now! Take that, 15 years ago people who made fun of me!!! ...now I cry. Middle school was such the soul-breaker for me. SURE I SHOWED THEM IN HIGH SCHOOL!!! (?)

While I'm here, I'll share my current obsession: Hanne Hukkelberg and her song, Berlin. Not apropos the fact that the song is named after a cool German city, it's just a really great song, one that I could listen to over and over again, that would be a very appropriate song to have playing during a rather awkward situation with...well, anyone. I'm sad to think that I could have seen her live, if not for the fact that I broke into a cold sweat, thereby causing me to practically miss her entire set.

Perhaps obsession-worthy, but just introduced to me tonight is the song, "Cats R People 2," by Quitzow. I personally think that it's the inverse, that people R cats 2, but I'm also a little buzzed, so that may alter my worldview in general.

Swingo Things

Sometimes, I have fun with camera phone.

I have to admit that I'm really disappointed in myself for not getting back into the blogging habit. It's not like I don't have things to write about (for I have many), it just seems that I've been spending less and less time on the computer, and when I do get the chance to hop on, I have more important things to do (as in my Grown Up Personal Advancement Project). I guess I'm mostly here to dump a bit of thought on here, and hopefully give something my 6 readers to ignore since I never update, causing my "regulars" to never visit again.

But for those of you who are still out there, why, hello there!

Before I forget, if you ever want to gain any kind of appreciation for LA (or deepen your undying love(/hate) for it, you must go to the Huntington exhibit, This Side of Paradise (if I was just a little more ambitious, I'd also provide an image, but just go - I'll go with you if you want, I'm for sure going there at least a few times before it goes next month, so you don't have an excuse!).

Being obsessive compulsive enough, August came with many hopes of a better month from the last. As we're creeping onto the 5th day, I can't say it hasn't been too bad. I am spending more time at home, which is a very bittersweet sort of deal (mostly because I actually still am living here), but it isn't bad. Thanks in part of kitties, I do feel at ease when I'm here alone at night, and I'm not as freaked out during that minute from leaving my car to my front door and into the house. Unfortunately, I'm not completely over it, as I had to refill on gasoline tonight, but was very, very apprehensive about stopping at any nearby station to fill up. Sure, those places are well-lit, but some shady people tend to hang around those areas. As fate had it, my on ramp to the freeway was closed, causing me to drive by one of the stations anyway, and I braved it and got Danny's fill of petrol. At the very least, I'm progressing with that...

Even though it's been pretty chill, August has been rather busy as well. I spent the entire weekend not at home, hanging around the San Gabriel Valley going here and there, sleeping at the parents'. Though I didn't really plan on doing it, I was fortunate once again to my mom's shopaholic tendencies and her recent purchases outfitted me for the entire time (which is good, since I was actually hanging out with people outside my family, so wearing the one outfit I had would have been not cool for my friends). If I do keep the momentum going, this will be sure to be a fun and busy (hopefully not tiring) month.

It's been rather materialistic lately, as well. Aside from the clothes from my mom, I've also got a brand new phone that's pretty fun, and now I'm in need to get myself a headset in order to not be on speakerphone all the time when driving. I bought a book that commemorates the wonderful 8 years our President has put us through, and after a whirlwind hour and a half of squatting in an American Apparel dressing room with a friend who is now happily moved back here from her two year stint in Hawaii, I managed to buy a sassy dress to wear, though it isn't the dress I originally thought of getting.

I forgot the point of this entry. I'll just post it.


Wow...I never imagined what these guys looked like, and after watching this original footage, I don't think that I'll ever hear this song the same way again. Teen Wolf was extra creepy on this one.

A True Blast from the Past

Writing this entry guarantees my being late for work today, but I'm going to have to do this now, otherwise it's never going to happen.

I just finished forwarding an interesting article to my two hosts about possible tips on caring for their tomatoes (that I've been caring for this week), when I switch over to my email to see I have a new message. I figured it would be some sort of confirmation my email was sent, or some copy of the email I sent them, but I was pleasantly surprised to get an email with the subject, "Hello! From the Past."

I immediately knew what it was. It was an email I sent to myself exactly one year ago using FutureMe.org, a website where you can compose emails to yourself and then have them delivered to your inbox at a designated date. I do remember going to the site and writing myself two emails, little did I know or recall the exact date when I actually wrote one. One of them was to myself exactly a year later, where I am right now, and the other one has yet to be delivered.

It was a pretty standard and safe email, especially since I opt to make the email "public" once it was delivered (Eublic being the email itself would be made available to read on the site, though your email would be concealed). As I expected, I didn't drop any names, and kept things rather vague, but wrote it just so NowMe knew what PastMe would be talking about.

Although I am much more financially stable, it seems that things are a lot different than last year and as hoped for me by my former self. The one big thing is that even numbered years typically made for amazing summers, and in light of what happened to me earlier this month, a lot of that hasn't come into fruition.

...then again, I shouldn't be saying something like that. First, there is plenty of Summer that has yet to happen. Second, it's not like I've been living beneath this dark cloud of fear and loathing this whole time - I've been to baseball games, been hanging out with friends and loved ones, enjoying drives in the sun with the windows rolled down, walking around in shorts, tank top and a bikini top beneath that because I can. In light of all that's happened, I'm having a blast, and I'm sure that there are plenty more exciting and fun things in store for me.

At the very least, I'm definitely much wiser, as I had hoped for myself.

I'll be sure to write myself another email sometime today, as I think it would be a fun thing to maintain - getting my annual midsummer check in with my former self. Since I registered at the site, I didn't know they have this feature that can reply to PastYou. I think I shall do that, but won't tell myself what I've been wishing for when driving under tunnels.

She should know, it's always the same thing I wish for, and that hasn't changed since then :)

Summer Wishlist 2008

I want to be responsible for someone falling in love with something they otherwise would have never given the time of day.

I want to see the sun rise and the sun set in the presence of a very large body of water. I'd prefer it to be an ocean, no matter what coast it faces.

I want to go to the First Cabin early and get the best seat in the house, finish my first Long Island iced tea before Pat O'Brien and the Priests of Love rock out, be responsible for at least two requests, and void all apprehensions of the change of ownership that nothing will change and Captain Bob will still be at the Helm.

I want to spend several days at a time wearing my bathing suit underneath my clothes so I can go swimming at the drop of a hat.

I want to see a movie that I truly, truly love on the big, big screen.

I want to stay up all night, with good company, all the while not even taking one blink of sleepiness.

I want to be able to talk and talk and talk about nothing and everything all at once, dreams and disappointments, kittens and grandmothers all alike.

I want to spend a day where I don't know or have to care what time it is, and where I have to be next.

I want to spend more time outside.

I want to challenge myself and see how much fried catfish I can eat before I feel like puking, one Tuesday or Thursday night.

I want to wear the summer dresses that didn't get to come out last year.

I want to take a train, plane, or automobile somewhere, ideally to a destination further than an In-N-Out burger can be served.

I want to get so drunk, I play a mean game of pool. And/or make BFFs with someone I despise.

I want a nice tan.

I want to make summer somen noodles with the sauce made from scratch, and serve it with all the fixins, with the noodles on ice.

I want to laugh so hard, I use up all the oxygen in the room.

This year feels like a good year for camping.

I want crazy long video gaming marathon (with others).

I want to actually watch the Olympics.

Although I don't like breaking the law, I want do try defying gravity.

I want to get lost with no worry for my safety or of whether I will still be alive in the next few hours.

BBQ

I want to sleep in...like, really, really sleep in.

I want to look to the heavens and watch it raining stars.

I want to feel like I'm making a difference somehow.

I want to spend an entire day inside watching movie after movie, and eating tons of popcorn.

I want to read a book.


Perhaps the most realistic thing I should have as my number one is to go to the 99 Cent store and get myself a headset for my cell phone.