Showing posts with label Gain Pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gain Pain. Show all posts
Thursday, February 5, 2009
JAH
She was going to teach me Italian. I could have learned Hebrew if I wanted to as well (and I did).
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Unus Vieo pro Annus
I wish I could better look back, but I would like to think that I've made and am still making progress.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Garbage in, Garbage out
There is nothing wrong with starting the Morning Pages when you're no longer sleepy groggy, right? I guess I'm making my own rules and those apply.
This is my morning, part II, and miraculously enough, I did manage to put in at least a few hours of sleep. Then again, I did hit the hay around 2, and then wound up waking with horrible tummy pain around 5, at which point I went running to the bathroom. I did feel a little rumble of that before going to bed, which I thought was just something that attributed to cramps, so I ignored it and passed out, not knowing that it was going to later kick my tummy and ass. Is that TMI? Meh. I'm just happy I managed to go back to sleep after that, and even remembered to turn off my alarm so I wasn't going to be persuaded to wake up at a certain time. After my second trip to the WC this morning, here I am, starting my daily writing exercise, and the kitties are already welcome in my room (cue kitties as they make their entrance as I type this).
I suppose this is what I get for betraying my usual love. I did try to keep in mind some of my company last night wasn't the most thrilled with Leo's taco truck, and I do recognize that there are a lot of people who don't, so we had the option to go with the familiar, or go with something new. I've been kind of curious in trying Sonia's taco truck, who is up the street from Leo's and is supposedly the truck of Leo's ex wife who left him because he supposedly cheated on her (both bits of information I gathered at different times, I guess I'm somehow kept abreast on taco truck drama...then again, it is Leo's I'm talking about). I was the maverick of the group and ordered a burrito instead of tacos like the rest, because I was pretty hungry, having only eaten some leftover veggie tostada fixin's that probably would have fit on two tortilla chip rounds, a mystery flavor hot pocket, and maybe a piece of candy. The burrito was okay, slightly spicy, and had a decent amount of meat, but it was agreed across the board that the tacos were not up to par with Leo's, even though the actually had a nice looking veggie taco (which doesn't count in the taco tally, apparently, because there is no gastronomical damage in putting a bunch of beans and salsa in, so it's more like a side). The food was so disappointing, we did wind up going to a sure fire good meal, Carnitas Michoacan, in order one good taco to wipe the ugly taco taste from the mouths of some, and more importantly for one, to introduce one of our party to Orange Bang! which was discovered she never had before. That could not be for one, and CM was going to happen in short order.
I didn't have anything, but the four of us shared a nice, large order of Orange Bang! I also did steal a small bite of an al pastor taco, for I'm not sure if I ever tried it there (though through the course of my going there, I'm more than certain that I have). Either way, it was good, and those who had redemption tacos were well satisfied.
That all said, it can be said there is something working against Sonia's as well, as my tumms is not happy with me right now. Of course, it could have been caused by other things, but what? I didn't even have alcohol last night (oh wait - I had a swig from "backwash bottle" and was gently persuaded to take a remarkable hit from The Bottomless Flask (damn you...which really actually means *hugs* yay, friendship!!!) but the booze wouldn't do something like that to me.
Needless to say, I find fault in those who have given that place a favorable review, unless this upsetness is caused by my shaking the hands of someone with dirty hands then eating my food, but that doesn't even make sense either, because I had a burrito, and was eating as I unwrapped the thing from its double layer cocoon.
I hope the tumms gets better soon. I'm supposed to go to an exhibit today, which I'm going to have to stomach, then I'm supposed to picnic. I can't very well picnic effectively if the tumms ain't having it...and if that be the case, that would be a bummer for sure.
It's funny that as I do these morning writing exercises, I find myself simply recounting what happened to me the day before. I don't think that's entirely a bad thing, I think, it's just that's what bubbles to the top on thoughts when I click on the "New Post" button. I guess this morning's events is concerning enough to dedicate to a blog entry (perhaps to my readers' dismay), but perhaps this entry should remain here as a constant reminder that do not try to have Sonia's again, and if you can't stand the wait for Leo's (of which, should have been an indicator for us, since there was NO LINE at this place), just go to Rambo's. Rambo's is not that that bad.
But yeah. I'm sure the more I make this more of a habit, the more that I'll be able to let out more things that perhaps need to be processed out of the inner workings of my head. Something like how instead of lying here longer to write an entry about the new camera I ordered yesterday, or having a nice cuddle session with the kitty that's currently purring my arm, or even taking a cat nap, I should really shower in order to start my day...
KITTY IT IS!!!
This is my morning, part II, and miraculously enough, I did manage to put in at least a few hours of sleep. Then again, I did hit the hay around 2, and then wound up waking with horrible tummy pain around 5, at which point I went running to the bathroom. I did feel a little rumble of that before going to bed, which I thought was just something that attributed to cramps, so I ignored it and passed out, not knowing that it was going to later kick my tummy and ass. Is that TMI? Meh. I'm just happy I managed to go back to sleep after that, and even remembered to turn off my alarm so I wasn't going to be persuaded to wake up at a certain time. After my second trip to the WC this morning, here I am, starting my daily writing exercise, and the kitties are already welcome in my room (cue kitties as they make their entrance as I type this).
I suppose this is what I get for betraying my usual love. I did try to keep in mind some of my company last night wasn't the most thrilled with Leo's taco truck, and I do recognize that there are a lot of people who don't, so we had the option to go with the familiar, or go with something new. I've been kind of curious in trying Sonia's taco truck, who is up the street from Leo's and is supposedly the truck of Leo's ex wife who left him because he supposedly cheated on her (both bits of information I gathered at different times, I guess I'm somehow kept abreast on taco truck drama...then again, it is Leo's I'm talking about). I was the maverick of the group and ordered a burrito instead of tacos like the rest, because I was pretty hungry, having only eaten some leftover veggie tostada fixin's that probably would have fit on two tortilla chip rounds, a mystery flavor hot pocket, and maybe a piece of candy. The burrito was okay, slightly spicy, and had a decent amount of meat, but it was agreed across the board that the tacos were not up to par with Leo's, even though the actually had a nice looking veggie taco (which doesn't count in the taco tally, apparently, because there is no gastronomical damage in putting a bunch of beans and salsa in, so it's more like a side). The food was so disappointing, we did wind up going to a sure fire good meal, Carnitas Michoacan, in order one good taco to wipe the ugly taco taste from the mouths of some, and more importantly for one, to introduce one of our party to Orange Bang! which was discovered she never had before. That could not be for one, and CM was going to happen in short order.
I didn't have anything, but the four of us shared a nice, large order of Orange Bang! I also did steal a small bite of an al pastor taco, for I'm not sure if I ever tried it there (though through the course of my going there, I'm more than certain that I have). Either way, it was good, and those who had redemption tacos were well satisfied.
That all said, it can be said there is something working against Sonia's as well, as my tumms is not happy with me right now. Of course, it could have been caused by other things, but what? I didn't even have alcohol last night (oh wait - I had a swig from "backwash bottle" and was gently persuaded to take a remarkable hit from The Bottomless Flask (damn you...which really actually means *hugs* yay, friendship!!!) but the booze wouldn't do something like that to me.
Needless to say, I find fault in those who have given that place a favorable review, unless this upsetness is caused by my shaking the hands of someone with dirty hands then eating my food, but that doesn't even make sense either, because I had a burrito, and was eating as I unwrapped the thing from its double layer cocoon.
I hope the tumms gets better soon. I'm supposed to go to an exhibit today, which I'm going to have to stomach, then I'm supposed to picnic. I can't very well picnic effectively if the tumms ain't having it...and if that be the case, that would be a bummer for sure.
It's funny that as I do these morning writing exercises, I find myself simply recounting what happened to me the day before. I don't think that's entirely a bad thing, I think, it's just that's what bubbles to the top on thoughts when I click on the "New Post" button. I guess this morning's events is concerning enough to dedicate to a blog entry (perhaps to my readers' dismay), but perhaps this entry should remain here as a constant reminder that do not try to have Sonia's again, and if you can't stand the wait for Leo's (of which, should have been an indicator for us, since there was NO LINE at this place), just go to Rambo's. Rambo's is not that that bad.
But yeah. I'm sure the more I make this more of a habit, the more that I'll be able to let out more things that perhaps need to be processed out of the inner workings of my head. Something like how instead of lying here longer to write an entry about the new camera I ordered yesterday, or having a nice cuddle session with the kitty that's currently purring my arm, or even taking a cat nap, I should really shower in order to start my day...
KITTY IT IS!!!
Friday, August 15, 2008
Here I Go Again
I'm just way too tired. I suppose I could just lie here and keep my eyes closed for a little longer and that would be a little bit of rest that I would really appreciate. I really need to get some sleep, though I don't think I could do anything of the sort until Sunday, possibly. I'm supposed to go somewhere tonight, then I have an absolutely full day Saturday which starts with my going to a health center to prove that I don't have TB by showing my arm and I don't have a little bump (but I can show I have a little bruise, which I guess I can attribute when the gal said "Oops" when she had the needle in my arm...ugh). Now I can happily bring my little yellow card from two years ago and show that I didn't have TB back then, and if I keep it up until tomorrow, I can get another little card and have a little collection to show off the fact I don't have the consumption. I don't have that kind of a respiratory problem. I do have the asthma still, and I was told about this special shot that asthmatics takes every 5 years to help prevent the possibility of getting the flu and pneumonia because of my weaker lung sacs. I guess it's like a flu shot booster of the sort, and I'm not sure if I'm going to take it or not. I don't really get the flu every year, though I do wind up getting sick at least once a year, but not for the flu, I don't think.
Man. I'm kind of glad I do listen to NPR, because I do get results from the Olympics. I don't think that the US have seen the results of this event, and since I don't get to watch today (like I haven't been able to watch...GAH), I now know the results to this event, which is a pretty hot ticket one. Wow. That is pretty much of a bummer for me - that I really haven't been able to watch the Olympics. When I was stuck at work on Tuesday night until well after I was supposed to be there, I heard the sounds of the Olympics coming from the other room, and I have to say that I was extremely jealous that I wasn't there, or in front of any other TV for that matter, watching where instead I was going crazy with making a DVD or two. I really do long for the time and the opportunity to actually watch the Olympics. I guess if I really wanted to, I could, especially since I haven't been getting much sleep as it is anyway, I could strategically not be sleeping at night at a place with a TV where I could watch the Olympics at the wee hours of the night. Then again, I tried doing that, and after watching the no problem win of May-Treanor and Walsh for Women's Beach Volleyball, the next few events were the ones I was very interested to watch, and just passed out cold until about 2am or so? I don't know, it was sad.
The radio just told me something sad...seems like the latest Harry Potter movie installment's release date is now delayed half a year from this winter until the blockbuster summertime due to the writer's strike. Wow. That's going to really depress the big hardcore HP fans, and I know of some people who will be pretty upset about that. I was just recently linked to its trailer, and even though I haven't read a single book save for the very first page of the very first book in 3-4 languages (the cool part about going to bookstores in airports), I have been enjoying the movies, and the latest one looks to be pretty good. I do think I will have to watch the last one that was out, because I watched the whole thing on a computer screen, and I think so much happened, I forgot most of it. In fact, these movies are so long, I'm starting to forget what happened in each one. Okay, maybe just the third one...maybe I should look that up.
I guess this is more than enough writing for the morning. I'm still kind of groggy, but I'm definitely not going to pass out anytime soon. The radio just turned off as it's my alarm and if I don't press it again later, it turns off after an hour of being on.
I think it's time to make my bed and open my door and invite the kitties in, thus marking the start of my day.
Man. I'm kind of glad I do listen to NPR, because I do get results from the Olympics. I don't think that the US have seen the results of this event, and since I don't get to watch today (like I haven't been able to watch...GAH), I now know the results to this event, which is a pretty hot ticket one. Wow. That is pretty much of a bummer for me - that I really haven't been able to watch the Olympics. When I was stuck at work on Tuesday night until well after I was supposed to be there, I heard the sounds of the Olympics coming from the other room, and I have to say that I was extremely jealous that I wasn't there, or in front of any other TV for that matter, watching where instead I was going crazy with making a DVD or two. I really do long for the time and the opportunity to actually watch the Olympics. I guess if I really wanted to, I could, especially since I haven't been getting much sleep as it is anyway, I could strategically not be sleeping at night at a place with a TV where I could watch the Olympics at the wee hours of the night. Then again, I tried doing that, and after watching the no problem win of May-Treanor and Walsh for Women's Beach Volleyball, the next few events were the ones I was very interested to watch, and just passed out cold until about 2am or so? I don't know, it was sad.
The radio just told me something sad...seems like the latest Harry Potter movie installment's release date is now delayed half a year from this winter until the blockbuster summertime due to the writer's strike. Wow. That's going to really depress the big hardcore HP fans, and I know of some people who will be pretty upset about that. I was just recently linked to its trailer, and even though I haven't read a single book save for the very first page of the very first book in 3-4 languages (the cool part about going to bookstores in airports), I have been enjoying the movies, and the latest one looks to be pretty good. I do think I will have to watch the last one that was out, because I watched the whole thing on a computer screen, and I think so much happened, I forgot most of it. In fact, these movies are so long, I'm starting to forget what happened in each one. Okay, maybe just the third one...maybe I should look that up.
I guess this is more than enough writing for the morning. I'm still kind of groggy, but I'm definitely not going to pass out anytime soon. The radio just turned off as it's my alarm and if I don't press it again later, it turns off after an hour of being on.
I think it's time to make my bed and open my door and invite the kitties in, thus marking the start of my day.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Everything Happens for a Reason
It was a dark, chilly night - the kind that felt like a prelude to a winter of bitter cold. As soon as the song came on the radio, I knew both the song and the singer, even though this partcular pairing I'd never heard before. I already liked the original, and having just acquainted myself with the duo that was covering it (and later learning the collaborator was someone I fancied as well) made the discovery something of a treat. But as I listened to the song, tears slowly welled up in my eyes, and as I tried to blink them away to ensure I maintained my vision for driving, I just couldn't stop the slow trickle of tears.
I had responsibilities to which I needed to attend, but I also sensed that you would have rather not have me with you at the time anyway. Out of duty for the former and respect for the latter, I left you with my heart heavy, damning the cards that were not in my favor that night.
At the very least, I had the song. Listening to that song at that moment both made me happy and sad. I was happy to have found such a gem, but was more sad than anything; I was driving down a long and lonely road away from you.
Amongst my sadness, I found solace in the song's beauty, for as I made that journey away from you, I felt each inch I drove come between us, allowing the cold slowly creep into your heart. The comfort that I found with the song as my companion was the hope that perhaps it all wasn't so.
And when the song faded away, I desperately clung onto that hope it gave me...only to discover with time, that too was to fade.
Monday, March 24, 2008
At Wit's End
The main computer is having a case of the Mondays.
I thought Day One of a week being entirely alone in the office and in the house (save the pets and the housekeeper for part of the day) was going pretty well. I checked in with Heidi and asked a couple of questions I had, confirmed with our bookkeeper that she was coming in. I was going to burn a DVD for our lighting designer as well as your run of the mill multitasking work when the computer froze. Okay, no problem. Ended a few programs and that was fine. I had Windows Explorer up, and that wasn't responding, so I killed that program, and when I thought the Start bar went away, I expected it to return within a moment or two, but it didn't. I decided to reboot the computer. That in itself was a bit of a mess, and so I did a manual shutdown. I did the required wait a bit to make sure the discs stop spinning, and turned on the computer once again. The HP splash goes up, and then the screen goes blank, save for a blinking cursor on the top left screen. After some time of waiting for something to happen, I realize that nothing was going to.
I get more of this, and then I start to try debugging. After many failed attempts, I rush over to the other computer (thank goodness we have one) to look up known problems and solutions similar to what I was dealing with. I called our inept IT guy to no avail (he may be inept, but he may know how to fix this glitch). Then our bookkeeper finally came to work on things as scheduled, which was inconvenient considering it was the only working computer. Thankfully, I am staying here, which means my computer comes with me, and I pop it open to try troubleshooting. I was getting nowhere fast. What was frustrating for the bookkeeper was that she needed to print things, and since the printers are connected to the main computer, we couldn't print. I could have printed on my computer, simpoly by taking my laptop to the cable and downloading the drivers, but my computer doesn't have Quickbooks. Even scarier is the fact that we have two grant deadlines this week: one postmark deadline for today, and a receipt deadline for tomorrow. I tried calling our IT guy again. Nada. Not having quick access to the files on the computer would make things difficult, even though our grant writer has everything she needs.
Then I get the brilliant idea of hooking our external backup hard drive to my computer to see if I can access files. I could simply install FileMaker Pro on my computer and access that names and address I need to send out documents, and all would be good. Even better was the fact that our external hard drive is a hybrid drive, which means it serves as a backup, but also functions as another hard drive where you can access files within its own mini OS. Pretty cool.
Once I figure out how to use it, I realize that the regular weekly scheduled backups haven't happened in aabout three weeks, and even with that (since my main concern was getting database names), the backup is arranged such that it's all zipped into one file that restores everyting on the computer, and I sure as hell did not want all those work files overwriting my stuff.
I was going crazy. I was able to circumvent getting someone's address by looking through emails on the other computer, but that also poses its own problem, since we just got that computer at the beginning of the month, and it only has a month's worth of emails in which to delve.
I decided to give it another try. I don't know what I did, I'm not sure if I did it through DOS, but I got the computer working in safe mode, through which I was able to do a full backup onto the external drive just in case and tried booting a system restore from yesterday evening.
I thought I was home free. The computer restarted itself to boot up with the older settings (I hadn't done much at this point, it was around 11:30 when this all happened), and it still didn't work.
I was going to die. Then, I noticed something that I really didn't pay attention to until that moment; the green disc drive light was on. Was it trying to read the blank DVD for a boot? I pressed the eject button, which I was hoping was going to work, the DVD pops out, and Windows loads.
Oh.
Sweet.
Cheese.
I'd almost want to do and die now, but I'm still waiting for this grant application that I need to print out and send off.
I thought Day One of a week being entirely alone in the office and in the house (save the pets and the housekeeper for part of the day) was going pretty well. I checked in with Heidi and asked a couple of questions I had, confirmed with our bookkeeper that she was coming in. I was going to burn a DVD for our lighting designer as well as your run of the mill multitasking work when the computer froze. Okay, no problem. Ended a few programs and that was fine. I had Windows Explorer up, and that wasn't responding, so I killed that program, and when I thought the Start bar went away, I expected it to return within a moment or two, but it didn't. I decided to reboot the computer. That in itself was a bit of a mess, and so I did a manual shutdown. I did the required wait a bit to make sure the discs stop spinning, and turned on the computer once again. The HP splash goes up, and then the screen goes blank, save for a blinking cursor on the top left screen. After some time of waiting for something to happen, I realize that nothing was going to.
I get more of this, and then I start to try debugging. After many failed attempts, I rush over to the other computer (thank goodness we have one) to look up known problems and solutions similar to what I was dealing with. I called our inept IT guy to no avail (he may be inept, but he may know how to fix this glitch). Then our bookkeeper finally came to work on things as scheduled, which was inconvenient considering it was the only working computer. Thankfully, I am staying here, which means my computer comes with me, and I pop it open to try troubleshooting. I was getting nowhere fast. What was frustrating for the bookkeeper was that she needed to print things, and since the printers are connected to the main computer, we couldn't print. I could have printed on my computer, simpoly by taking my laptop to the cable and downloading the drivers, but my computer doesn't have Quickbooks. Even scarier is the fact that we have two grant deadlines this week: one postmark deadline for today, and a receipt deadline for tomorrow. I tried calling our IT guy again. Nada. Not having quick access to the files on the computer would make things difficult, even though our grant writer has everything she needs.
Then I get the brilliant idea of hooking our external backup hard drive to my computer to see if I can access files. I could simply install FileMaker Pro on my computer and access that names and address I need to send out documents, and all would be good. Even better was the fact that our external hard drive is a hybrid drive, which means it serves as a backup, but also functions as another hard drive where you can access files within its own mini OS. Pretty cool.
Once I figure out how to use it, I realize that the regular weekly scheduled backups haven't happened in aabout three weeks, and even with that (since my main concern was getting database names), the backup is arranged such that it's all zipped into one file that restores everyting on the computer, and I sure as hell did not want all those work files overwriting my stuff.
I was going crazy. I was able to circumvent getting someone's address by looking through emails on the other computer, but that also poses its own problem, since we just got that computer at the beginning of the month, and it only has a month's worth of emails in which to delve.
I decided to give it another try. I don't know what I did, I'm not sure if I did it through DOS, but I got the computer working in safe mode, through which I was able to do a full backup onto the external drive just in case and tried booting a system restore from yesterday evening.
I thought I was home free. The computer restarted itself to boot up with the older settings (I hadn't done much at this point, it was around 11:30 when this all happened), and it still didn't work.
I was going to die. Then, I noticed something that I really didn't pay attention to until that moment; the green disc drive light was on. Was it trying to read the blank DVD for a boot? I pressed the eject button, which I was hoping was going to work, the DVD pops out, and Windows loads.
Oh.
Sweet.
Cheese.
I'd almost want to do and die now, but I'm still waiting for this grant application that I need to print out and send off.
Monday, March 3, 2008
The Version of Myself I May Not Know
This is something that's been stewing in my head for about a week.
Even though I've been aware of this strange...I don't even know what to call it...a quirk? of mine, I really haven't seriously contemplated this strange phenomena that it seems that I've lived different lives through the years such that depending on when one first met me, they would never know that there may have been a different incarnation of myself not too far into the past.
The first time it was brought to my attention was my second year in college. It was once noted that in every picture I had in my dorm room as well as others' pictures of me, I would have a different hairstyle. That was also said when the style on my head was completely different from all the others in pictures. I took that as a compliment, because I liked changing things up. I also knew that a certain style more or less had a 6 month shelf life with me: I'd love it for a while, and if I had the time and money, I'd maintain it, but without thinking, I would need a completely new style in about half a year.
Once I was out of school and I had more responsibilities aside from worrying about how my hair looked, I would keep some styles a lot longer than usual, but when I would change out of a particular style, I would change it drastically.
Not that it's necessarily a bad thing, but throughout these metamorphoses, I would meet new people and build friendships with them. Sometimes I'd lose touch with them, and when I see them again, they'd be so surprised when they'd see my hair from pretty long from when they met me to super short. "Oh my God! You chopped all your hair off!" They would say, but I'd be surprised, because didn't they know that aside from that period of time I hung out with them was a strange phase when I didn't cut my hair and now I'm back to normal? Oh, I guess not.
More recently, I was at event and saw some friends whom I haven't seen in FOREVER. I went up to them to say hi, and I was a little heartbroken when they didn't seem to remember me. Then they recognized me and we hugged, but they said that they didn't know who I was because last time they saw me I had long hair and wore glasses.
I realized that I can keep track of when I met and became friends with people based on what hairstyle I was sporting at the time.
And then it dawned on me that it wasn't just about how I wore my hair. In the past 10 or so years, I can also group people I know based on what I was doing at the time.
I really became more aware of this last Saturday. Relics of my almost forgotten past were brought up to me TWICE on the same day. First was with Eva and our wonderful reunion after her return from Salzburg and my actual ability to be in the neighborhood and time to have to hang out with her. We did the talking, story telling, catching up, and then she asked me if I was still taking pictures. It is a completely harmless question, but it really made me think. I was happy to be able to say that I did a great deal of photographing the week prior when I went to Hawaii; other than that I hadn't properly photographed anything in well over a year.
When I met Eva, we were both newbies to the WAC program. Before we became friends (we became closer friends well after I graduated), we were aware of each other and appreciated each others' work, but she knew me as the anomaly WAC student who did photo installations and created non-dance performances. Soon I stopped creating performances completely and focused on photography, and she became one of the few people I confided in that one of the main reasons I quit my first real job was because I had plans to seriously pursue doing photography for a living. Needless to say, due to certain circumstances that was never really actualized and over two years after making that decision my taking pictures has boiled down to tourist snapshots.
The crazy thing is, there are people who know me now that don't and may never know that photography was such an important part of my life for so long.
That same day I was in La Verne to go pick up a desk at my uncle's for my roommate. Of course, we couldn't leave without something to eat, and it became a really nice moment to just sit there and chat with my uncle and just talk about things aside from the niceties that are exchanged when you see someone briefly or at a big family gathering. During that conversation, the subject of art came up and it was asked why my sister was no longer making any. More importantly, I was asked if I was still writing.
I guess I still am to some extent with the blogging and the Yelping and whatnot, but I knew exactly what he was talking about and I almost felt exposed when he said it, especially in front of my roommate who wouldn't know about what he was talking about. Even though those dreams were dashed a long time ago, I always had dreamed of becoming a writer. I thought I was fairly good at it, and I would win a contest here and there for submissions of poems. I'd write some interesting short stories as well, including one homework assignment of my cousin's where she had to adapt some fairy tales and I wrote them all for her, making her papa proud even though it was I who did it. He was particularly fond of my poems, and at the time, I was too; in the two years I had my favorite teacher in high school, the only time I'd get an A from him were from the creative writing assignments (of which he had very few). I was ashamed and sad to tell my uncle last weekend that my "writing" is something of the past, and though I think it would be nice to start up again, I think it's just not what I do now.
But what is it I do now?
How about my friends who will see me and ask me if I'm still working in the music industry and if I'm still in touch with so and so and go to punk shows? Or how about the people who ask me if I'm still running and when I'll do another marathon? How aobout my friends who ask me for tips on backpacking around Europe or just general tips on packing light and taking everything that you need on your back and just go? Oh, is that the same person who visited her cousin and her family in Princeton and while she was there, her cousin would tell her friends about her and they'd be envious of her pathetic, broke vagabonding life? How about that long forgotten of getting the LA EZ Pass that would allow me to take the Metro and most citys' municipal lines just so I can master the under appreciated (albeit slow) public transportation system the Greater Los Angeles Area actually has but many aren't aware of? How about that girl who had the bestest best friend in the whole wide world and they were practically joined at the hip, who knew each others' schedules and somehow sensed when the other was at home, and could tell someone exactly how they'd respond to certain things if someone else were to say it. Was aus am Besten Freund der Welt und ihrer Freundshaft geworden ist?
Those were all completely different people from a completely different time. Those, if not all of those people were incarnations that existed within the past 5-6 years.
I'm sure there are remnants of those people in me now, but what version of myself am I right now? What volume of my life am I now writing? Is it Volume 27: In Which She Succumbs to Adulthood and Responsibility and Gives Up Childhood Fancies ? Is it that book where a good day is marked by getting a great tax return that will immediately be put into my savings account where my car payments are automatically taken from? In which a triumph would be getting the necessary paperwork needed to overturn my initial denial of individual medical coverage from a company that has been carrying me for the past 5 years through work but can't get it on my own?
Who is this person? And more importantly, do I like her?
Even though I've been aware of this strange...I don't even know what to call it...a quirk? of mine, I really haven't seriously contemplated this strange phenomena that it seems that I've lived different lives through the years such that depending on when one first met me, they would never know that there may have been a different incarnation of myself not too far into the past.
The first time it was brought to my attention was my second year in college. It was once noted that in every picture I had in my dorm room as well as others' pictures of me, I would have a different hairstyle. That was also said when the style on my head was completely different from all the others in pictures. I took that as a compliment, because I liked changing things up. I also knew that a certain style more or less had a 6 month shelf life with me: I'd love it for a while, and if I had the time and money, I'd maintain it, but without thinking, I would need a completely new style in about half a year.
Once I was out of school and I had more responsibilities aside from worrying about how my hair looked, I would keep some styles a lot longer than usual, but when I would change out of a particular style, I would change it drastically.
Not that it's necessarily a bad thing, but throughout these metamorphoses, I would meet new people and build friendships with them. Sometimes I'd lose touch with them, and when I see them again, they'd be so surprised when they'd see my hair from pretty long from when they met me to super short. "Oh my God! You chopped all your hair off!" They would say, but I'd be surprised, because didn't they know that aside from that period of time I hung out with them was a strange phase when I didn't cut my hair and now I'm back to normal? Oh, I guess not.
More recently, I was at event and saw some friends whom I haven't seen in FOREVER. I went up to them to say hi, and I was a little heartbroken when they didn't seem to remember me. Then they recognized me and we hugged, but they said that they didn't know who I was because last time they saw me I had long hair and wore glasses.
I realized that I can keep track of when I met and became friends with people based on what hairstyle I was sporting at the time.
And then it dawned on me that it wasn't just about how I wore my hair. In the past 10 or so years, I can also group people I know based on what I was doing at the time.
I really became more aware of this last Saturday. Relics of my almost forgotten past were brought up to me TWICE on the same day. First was with Eva and our wonderful reunion after her return from Salzburg and my actual ability to be in the neighborhood and time to have to hang out with her. We did the talking, story telling, catching up, and then she asked me if I was still taking pictures. It is a completely harmless question, but it really made me think. I was happy to be able to say that I did a great deal of photographing the week prior when I went to Hawaii; other than that I hadn't properly photographed anything in well over a year.
When I met Eva, we were both newbies to the WAC program. Before we became friends (we became closer friends well after I graduated), we were aware of each other and appreciated each others' work, but she knew me as the anomaly WAC student who did photo installations and created non-dance performances. Soon I stopped creating performances completely and focused on photography, and she became one of the few people I confided in that one of the main reasons I quit my first real job was because I had plans to seriously pursue doing photography for a living. Needless to say, due to certain circumstances that was never really actualized and over two years after making that decision my taking pictures has boiled down to tourist snapshots.
The crazy thing is, there are people who know me now that don't and may never know that photography was such an important part of my life for so long.
That same day I was in La Verne to go pick up a desk at my uncle's for my roommate. Of course, we couldn't leave without something to eat, and it became a really nice moment to just sit there and chat with my uncle and just talk about things aside from the niceties that are exchanged when you see someone briefly or at a big family gathering. During that conversation, the subject of art came up and it was asked why my sister was no longer making any. More importantly, I was asked if I was still writing.
I guess I still am to some extent with the blogging and the Yelping and whatnot, but I knew exactly what he was talking about and I almost felt exposed when he said it, especially in front of my roommate who wouldn't know about what he was talking about. Even though those dreams were dashed a long time ago, I always had dreamed of becoming a writer. I thought I was fairly good at it, and I would win a contest here and there for submissions of poems. I'd write some interesting short stories as well, including one homework assignment of my cousin's where she had to adapt some fairy tales and I wrote them all for her, making her papa proud even though it was I who did it. He was particularly fond of my poems, and at the time, I was too; in the two years I had my favorite teacher in high school, the only time I'd get an A from him were from the creative writing assignments (of which he had very few). I was ashamed and sad to tell my uncle last weekend that my "writing" is something of the past, and though I think it would be nice to start up again, I think it's just not what I do now.
But what is it I do now?
How about my friends who will see me and ask me if I'm still working in the music industry and if I'm still in touch with so and so and go to punk shows? Or how about the people who ask me if I'm still running and when I'll do another marathon? How aobout my friends who ask me for tips on backpacking around Europe or just general tips on packing light and taking everything that you need on your back and just go? Oh, is that the same person who visited her cousin and her family in Princeton and while she was there, her cousin would tell her friends about her and they'd be envious of her pathetic, broke vagabonding life? How about that long forgotten of getting the LA EZ Pass that would allow me to take the Metro and most citys' municipal lines just so I can master the under appreciated (albeit slow) public transportation system the Greater Los Angeles Area actually has but many aren't aware of? How about that girl who had the bestest best friend in the whole wide world and they were practically joined at the hip, who knew each others' schedules and somehow sensed when the other was at home, and could tell someone exactly how they'd respond to certain things if someone else were to say it. Was aus am Besten Freund der Welt und ihrer Freundshaft geworden ist?
Those were all completely different people from a completely different time. Those, if not all of those people were incarnations that existed within the past 5-6 years.
I'm sure there are remnants of those people in me now, but what version of myself am I right now? What volume of my life am I now writing? Is it Volume 27: In Which She Succumbs to Adulthood and Responsibility and Gives Up Childhood Fancies ? Is it that book where a good day is marked by getting a great tax return that will immediately be put into my savings account where my car payments are automatically taken from? In which a triumph would be getting the necessary paperwork needed to overturn my initial denial of individual medical coverage from a company that has been carrying me for the past 5 years through work but can't get it on my own?
Who is this person? And more importantly, do I like her?
Monday, February 4, 2008
Good Things Never Last Long
...or, this is going to break me.
My knees are really feeling the pain of my running nearly three miles nearly every day.
Of course, this isn't going to stop me, especially after hanging out with my cousin who's lost A LOT of size and looks gooood. I'm sure she feels good (physically), too.
I want to be back in shape, but maybe all this running isn't the way to go.
Gotta mind the diet, change up the exercising, and just be a mindful in every way as possible.
Oh, and I guess I should go on with the 5 days of running I haven't logged on my blog yet...
Summary:
Monday (last) hurt from the bad diet I had for that day and the day before,
Tuesday wasn't so bad, though I did two laps (both run/walk)
Wednesday I went with others, and it was fun, but very tiring
Thursday I missed due to things happening
Friday marked the return of the early morning run, and it was nice, except my knees were hurting. Also experimented with starting the run halfway through the first lap
Missed Saturday, partly due to the fact that I was in pain
Sunday was rain and pain
Today was a two lap run/walk, no warmup. Kind of hurt, but I didn't do much anyway.
Times forthcoming, and yes, I do remember things from each run.
My knees are really feeling the pain of my running nearly three miles nearly every day.
Of course, this isn't going to stop me, especially after hanging out with my cousin who's lost A LOT of size and looks gooood. I'm sure she feels good (physically), too.
I want to be back in shape, but maybe all this running isn't the way to go.
Gotta mind the diet, change up the exercising, and just be a mindful in every way as possible.
Oh, and I guess I should go on with the 5 days of running I haven't logged on my blog yet...
Summary:
Monday (last) hurt from the bad diet I had for that day and the day before,
Tuesday wasn't so bad, though I did two laps (both run/walk)
Wednesday I went with others, and it was fun, but very tiring
Thursday I missed due to things happening
Friday marked the return of the early morning run, and it was nice, except my knees were hurting. Also experimented with starting the run halfway through the first lap
Missed Saturday, partly due to the fact that I was in pain
Sunday was rain and pain
Today was a two lap run/walk, no warmup. Kind of hurt, but I didn't do much anyway.
Times forthcoming, and yes, I do remember things from each run.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
I Can't Do the Little Things I Hold So Dear...
No running today. Had I thought about it sooner, made the dip last night (or at least prepped for it) and went without Natilie, I could have made it. Oh well.
Instead, I did what I could have never ever imagined doing 10 years ago: I taught a small group of people something I knew how to do. I never thought I could ever have the patience and vernacular to be able to teach anyone anything. And what I taught them was something I never even considered doing 10 years ago: knitting.
Even more amazing was the fact that they actually got something out of it, and they thought I was a really good teacher! I wouldn't think I'd be good at teaching something that technical and explaining why things are supposed to work.
Glad that went well.
But the worst is yet to come.
I have this overwhelming feeling of being such a girl it disgusts me almost to the point of tears.
Instead, I did what I could have never ever imagined doing 10 years ago: I taught a small group of people something I knew how to do. I never thought I could ever have the patience and vernacular to be able to teach anyone anything. And what I taught them was something I never even considered doing 10 years ago: knitting.
Even more amazing was the fact that they actually got something out of it, and they thought I was a really good teacher! I wouldn't think I'd be good at teaching something that technical and explaining why things are supposed to work.
Glad that went well.
But the worst is yet to come.
I have this overwhelming feeling of being such a girl it disgusts me almost to the point of tears.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Here Comes the Sun...
Today was a day that reminded me why I don't drink before I run.
Granted, I didn't have much. I had probably the equivalent of 4-4.5 drinks from 8:30-12:30, which is average, but just having that stuff in my system was no bueno.
Natilie didn't come with me, as she's realized that along with the physicality of her job and running every day really hurts her right now, particularly her knees.
But it was such a beautiful day! There were a few small, white clouds in the bright blue California sky and the sun was warming the cold air. The view of the mountains was unobstructed and the higher peaks were covered in snow! Thankfully, the trail dried for the most part, and the flooded areas were manageable mush at the worst. There was a rather strong wind blowing from the north, which is atypical, as there's usually a headwind coming from the south when going counter clockwise on the west side of the park. I knew it was going to be tough.
And it really was. With Natilie absent, I entertained the idea of upping my run to 3 minutes, and keep a 3 minute rest. I did my warmup lap, and without Natilie I did my brisk haulass walk which shaved a lot of time (I must be back in shape in order for me to walk like that), and the run laps weren't stellar. It wasn't so bad compared to yesterday, but definitely not as great as earlier in the week.
LAP 1: 18.36.32
LAP 2: 16.46.71
LAP 3: 17.14.95
TOTAL: 52.37.98
What was bad was that I it hurt. It wasn't a pain from the muscles, but it was just my body was fatigued and I was winded even on my first sprint. In the middle of the run, I knew that I couldn't do the 3 minute run that day, and I would have killed myself if I forced myself to do it. Still, considering the circumstances, I did pretty well and I'm still alive, so there's that.
What I think would have helped was that I probably could have made the 3 minute run happen. Fatigue aside, I could have mentally set myself to do it. I really was trying to prep myself for it during my first lap, even to the point I had changed my watch to the proper intervals, but my body was refusing, and my mind just shut off from the thought of it shortly after that. I have to really see if I can push myself to do it soon.
I've decided that I should make a goal to be able to run the entire trail in 15 minutes. That's how long my miles were while training for the marathon, and even though this is a bit shy of a true mile, I want to at least strive for that.
I've come to realize that running alone isn't all that bad. Aside from the fact that I was a wreck today, I've noticed that I don't hurt as much when I'm running with others, maybe because even when we're not always conversing with each other, at least I know the other one is there. It sucks to be out there alone, but it's also good that you don't have to be mindful of another's pace. Having Nat with me while conditioning may have helped with consistency, but maybe now that I am slowly getting stronger, I can up back to my old pace, of which she may not be able to do at this point. It's sometimes nice to get lost in your own thoughts and just go as you want and push yourself when you think you need it...there's something satisfying in encouraging yourself, because it's just you out there.
I suppose that were technically out there on our own all the time, and as nice as it is to go at it solo, I think I ultimately would be in the company of others. I think that's what made my Saturday morning runs made it so worth it. It wasn't a sacrifice to not drink Wednesday to Friday, because it meant I could keep with my group and feel strong, all of us together, encouraging each other and making that journey as a unit, yet still be able to get what we individually needed to get out from such an endeavor.
Granted, I didn't have much. I had probably the equivalent of 4-4.5 drinks from 8:30-12:30, which is average, but just having that stuff in my system was no bueno.
Natilie didn't come with me, as she's realized that along with the physicality of her job and running every day really hurts her right now, particularly her knees.
But it was such a beautiful day! There were a few small, white clouds in the bright blue California sky and the sun was warming the cold air. The view of the mountains was unobstructed and the higher peaks were covered in snow! Thankfully, the trail dried for the most part, and the flooded areas were manageable mush at the worst. There was a rather strong wind blowing from the north, which is atypical, as there's usually a headwind coming from the south when going counter clockwise on the west side of the park. I knew it was going to be tough.
And it really was. With Natilie absent, I entertained the idea of upping my run to 3 minutes, and keep a 3 minute rest. I did my warmup lap, and without Natilie I did my brisk haulass walk which shaved a lot of time (I must be back in shape in order for me to walk like that), and the run laps weren't stellar. It wasn't so bad compared to yesterday, but definitely not as great as earlier in the week.
LAP 1: 18.36.32
LAP 2: 16.46.71
LAP 3: 17.14.95
TOTAL: 52.37.98
What was bad was that I it hurt. It wasn't a pain from the muscles, but it was just my body was fatigued and I was winded even on my first sprint. In the middle of the run, I knew that I couldn't do the 3 minute run that day, and I would have killed myself if I forced myself to do it. Still, considering the circumstances, I did pretty well and I'm still alive, so there's that.
What I think would have helped was that I probably could have made the 3 minute run happen. Fatigue aside, I could have mentally set myself to do it. I really was trying to prep myself for it during my first lap, even to the point I had changed my watch to the proper intervals, but my body was refusing, and my mind just shut off from the thought of it shortly after that. I have to really see if I can push myself to do it soon.
I've decided that I should make a goal to be able to run the entire trail in 15 minutes. That's how long my miles were while training for the marathon, and even though this is a bit shy of a true mile, I want to at least strive for that.
I've come to realize that running alone isn't all that bad. Aside from the fact that I was a wreck today, I've noticed that I don't hurt as much when I'm running with others, maybe because even when we're not always conversing with each other, at least I know the other one is there. It sucks to be out there alone, but it's also good that you don't have to be mindful of another's pace. Having Nat with me while conditioning may have helped with consistency, but maybe now that I am slowly getting stronger, I can up back to my old pace, of which she may not be able to do at this point. It's sometimes nice to get lost in your own thoughts and just go as you want and push yourself when you think you need it...there's something satisfying in encouraging yourself, because it's just you out there.
I suppose that were technically out there on our own all the time, and as nice as it is to go at it solo, I think I ultimately would be in the company of others. I think that's what made my Saturday morning runs made it so worth it. It wasn't a sacrifice to not drink Wednesday to Friday, because it meant I could keep with my group and feel strong, all of us together, encouraging each other and making that journey as a unit, yet still be able to get what we individually needed to get out from such an endeavor.
Here Comes the Rain Again...
With Wednesday a bust, I was determined to get some sort of exercise on Thursday, despite the fact it was raining all day. I jumped on the mountain bike Natilie has on a trainer, and went on that for an hour. I split that time into 30 minute sets, and did some exercising in between. I was thinking maybe going longer, but that didn't seem to fun or comfortable. That seat on that thing is not nice.
Yesterday was planned to be more of the same as the day before, but had to time things right as I had to meet people for lunch. Before I was up and about to do my thing, I got a message from Eva in Austria, and we got to talking since there was a lot of catching up to do and the latest on her saga to escape Salzburg. Her dad was calling on Skype, and was going to talk to her about exactly that, and since I wanted to be filled in too, I told her I'd be on standby for her until she was finished. By the time I got going, I was 8 minutes into biking when she messaged me again. I stretched while talking, and did a few exercises, but its nothing close to what I wanted to get done. I got home from lunch, and it seemed the sky was clearing up. I was somewhat upset coming home, for I thought I saw a small flock of birds fly directly at the front of my car, and even though I didn't hear anything, I almost swore as I looked in my rearview mirror, I saw something that looked like wings flailing on the road behind me. With that lingering in my mind, I jumped on Yelp Talk to see some things that really, really made me angry. It wasn't directed towards me or anyone in particular, but for some reason, someone's shear ignorance astounded and enraged me. I don't know when was the lat time I felt that angry! Natilie got home right about that time, and said it looked clear to run, even though she didn't want to. I wanted to run. Then she changed her mind and figured if I was going to go, she would go too.
Natilie didn't want to be at a close pace as this guy already running around, so in a Freaky Friday fashion, we ran clockwise instead of our regular counter-clockwise. It was interesting going that way, and we actually saw and noticed things we never have, just because of the way we rounded turns, our eyes never fell upon certain things we've been running past so many times! The ground was soft as expected, but there's lots of gravel with the dirt which made things soft, but not mushy. There were parts here and there that were just flooded, so it was kind of tricky navigating through that part, especially during a run, and I'm not sure if that was another factor to take in the slower times we had.
FRIDAY, 25 January
LAP 1: 20.25.33
LAP 2: 16.47.28
LAP 3: 17.05.40
TOTAL: 54.18.01
Granted, this is also with two days of no running. The cold could have been another factor, but both really were feeling it, and we were getting winded too soon. It kind of sucked, especially since we were making such great time!
I felt my foot hurting again, and wondered if it was caused to my maybe funny stepping through mush, but I don't know.
Still, it was pretty nice to run in the clean, cool air, with the sun's ray peeking through the clouds behind Downtown, and the northern batch was clearing a bit to reveal the snow they delivered to the mountains. It was pretty nice, albeit a bit slow and tiring.
Yesterday was planned to be more of the same as the day before, but had to time things right as I had to meet people for lunch. Before I was up and about to do my thing, I got a message from Eva in Austria, and we got to talking since there was a lot of catching up to do and the latest on her saga to escape Salzburg. Her dad was calling on Skype, and was going to talk to her about exactly that, and since I wanted to be filled in too, I told her I'd be on standby for her until she was finished. By the time I got going, I was 8 minutes into biking when she messaged me again. I stretched while talking, and did a few exercises, but its nothing close to what I wanted to get done. I got home from lunch, and it seemed the sky was clearing up. I was somewhat upset coming home, for I thought I saw a small flock of birds fly directly at the front of my car, and even though I didn't hear anything, I almost swore as I looked in my rearview mirror, I saw something that looked like wings flailing on the road behind me. With that lingering in my mind, I jumped on Yelp Talk to see some things that really, really made me angry. It wasn't directed towards me or anyone in particular, but for some reason, someone's shear ignorance astounded and enraged me. I don't know when was the lat time I felt that angry! Natilie got home right about that time, and said it looked clear to run, even though she didn't want to. I wanted to run. Then she changed her mind and figured if I was going to go, she would go too.
Natilie didn't want to be at a close pace as this guy already running around, so in a Freaky Friday fashion, we ran clockwise instead of our regular counter-clockwise. It was interesting going that way, and we actually saw and noticed things we never have, just because of the way we rounded turns, our eyes never fell upon certain things we've been running past so many times! The ground was soft as expected, but there's lots of gravel with the dirt which made things soft, but not mushy. There were parts here and there that were just flooded, so it was kind of tricky navigating through that part, especially during a run, and I'm not sure if that was another factor to take in the slower times we had.
FRIDAY, 25 January
LAP 1: 20.25.33
LAP 2: 16.47.28
LAP 3: 17.05.40
TOTAL: 54.18.01
Granted, this is also with two days of no running. The cold could have been another factor, but both really were feeling it, and we were getting winded too soon. It kind of sucked, especially since we were making such great time!
I felt my foot hurting again, and wondered if it was caused to my maybe funny stepping through mush, but I don't know.
Still, it was pretty nice to run in the clean, cool air, with the sun's ray peeking through the clouds behind Downtown, and the northern batch was clearing a bit to reveal the snow they delivered to the mountains. It was pretty nice, albeit a bit slow and tiring.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
RAINED OUT
BOO.
Woke up this morning, and it was cold. I was thinking to go out running on my own, as Natilie didn't specifically say she wanted to to running with me today. Though she did say that she does feel skinnier whenever she does. And we've been doing so well, why mess up a good thing? So I decide to text message her, after I had text messaged her that I tried on a skirt that looked pretty gross on me due to the fluffertum, but looks halfway decent again. I was rather surprised I didn't get a reply to that, and I was surprised she didn't reply to the last one. Was she working hard in an area that had no reception? But doesn't she get a break, like, sometime soon?
And then I remembered that her phone is shut off right now. D'oh.
So I waited until she came home.
She came home late, but by then it was pouring out, and she said her knee hurt.
BUMMER.
Maybe I do Wii boxing.
...and I was so excited too! I actually made the effort to dig around in my hobo trash bags of clothing to dig up my running clothes! So far, I have found most of them, though I seem to be missing two sports bras. At least, they were ones I hated wearing anyway, because they were all tight and didn't breathe and pinched my chub even when there was a lot less chub and the twins probably wouldn't fit in them as it seems that I gained half an inch on the chest in this week than lose inches? But now they're in their own pathetic pile in my very messy room.
Man my room is a mess...
Woke up this morning, and it was cold. I was thinking to go out running on my own, as Natilie didn't specifically say she wanted to to running with me today. Though she did say that she does feel skinnier whenever she does. And we've been doing so well, why mess up a good thing? So I decide to text message her, after I had text messaged her that I tried on a skirt that looked pretty gross on me due to the fluffertum, but looks halfway decent again. I was rather surprised I didn't get a reply to that, and I was surprised she didn't reply to the last one. Was she working hard in an area that had no reception? But doesn't she get a break, like, sometime soon?
And then I remembered that her phone is shut off right now. D'oh.
So I waited until she came home.
She came home late, but by then it was pouring out, and she said her knee hurt.
BUMMER.
Maybe I do Wii boxing.
...and I was so excited too! I actually made the effort to dig around in my hobo trash bags of clothing to dig up my running clothes! So far, I have found most of them, though I seem to be missing two sports bras. At least, they were ones I hated wearing anyway, because they were all tight and didn't breathe and pinched my chub even when there was a lot less chub and the twins probably wouldn't fit in them as it seems that I gained half an inch on the chest in this week than lose inches? But now they're in their own pathetic pile in my very messy room.
Man my room is a mess...
A Break in the Clouds?
When I woke up before Natilie and heard it was raining, I was hoping that the rain would break for a little while so that we can go running in the afternoon. Imagine my elation that we were able to go and the ground wasn't soggy!
I really do like running in this weather. It's the type of weather that I trained for that marathon (for I would be currently under the routine if I were training for NOLA or LA's run), and I guess I'm used to it. I told Natilie that the weather we were walking in at the time yesterday was pretty much the temperature and conditions I had when I ran that one cold morning in Salzburg. Yes, I took my shoes and running clothes in my backpack in order for me to continue my training (training officially started a week or two before I left for two weeks to Europe). Sure, it was the only time I actually "ran" the whole trip, but at least I have the experience to run the predetermined trails of Salzburg and lived to tell the tale.
We're getting stronger. It's less painful for the two of us, and I can tell we're covering more ground with each lap. The time is proof of that:
LAP 1: 19.51.76
LAP 2: 16.08.48
LAP 3: 16.08.77
TOTAL: 52.09.01
We're even becoming a lot more consistent with our runs! I'm very proud of us. I'm really glad that Natilie's been making an effort to go around with me, because I think it definitely helps me. I won't have her to run with tomorrow, but maybe it will give me a chance to toy with the idea of a 3 minute run, and perhaps keep the 3 minute walk.
A very strange thing happened to me as we were finishing our last run. About thirty seconds left into that last bit, I had this sudden urge to just...take off. I wasn't going at a break neck speed, but my feet felt lighter and I just had this urge to just...GO. I went a few steps ahead of Natilie, and I did try to hang back, but that surge in me just wanted me to go as far as I could in that short span of time, and at the same time, I wanted to see what kind of a sprint would feel like at this point.
Maybe it's time to up the ante.
I really do like running in this weather. It's the type of weather that I trained for that marathon (for I would be currently under the routine if I were training for NOLA or LA's run), and I guess I'm used to it. I told Natilie that the weather we were walking in at the time yesterday was pretty much the temperature and conditions I had when I ran that one cold morning in Salzburg. Yes, I took my shoes and running clothes in my backpack in order for me to continue my training (training officially started a week or two before I left for two weeks to Europe). Sure, it was the only time I actually "ran" the whole trip, but at least I have the experience to run the predetermined trails of Salzburg and lived to tell the tale.
We're getting stronger. It's less painful for the two of us, and I can tell we're covering more ground with each lap. The time is proof of that:
LAP 1: 19.51.76
LAP 2: 16.08.48
LAP 3: 16.08.77
TOTAL: 52.09.01
We're even becoming a lot more consistent with our runs! I'm very proud of us. I'm really glad that Natilie's been making an effort to go around with me, because I think it definitely helps me. I won't have her to run with tomorrow, but maybe it will give me a chance to toy with the idea of a 3 minute run, and perhaps keep the 3 minute walk.
A very strange thing happened to me as we were finishing our last run. About thirty seconds left into that last bit, I had this sudden urge to just...take off. I wasn't going at a break neck speed, but my feet felt lighter and I just had this urge to just...GO. I went a few steps ahead of Natilie, and I did try to hang back, but that surge in me just wanted me to go as far as I could in that short span of time, and at the same time, I wanted to see what kind of a sprint would feel like at this point.
Maybe it's time to up the ante.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Rain, Rain, Go Away...
Come, but stop when we want to run!
It was predicted to rain around Monday, but reports said that it would start later in the evening. Natilie had the day off, but I was going to work with Judith to take advantage of the day of no rain, because if we waited until Tuesday and it was guaranteed rain, we'd be screwed to work.
As happy as I was to wake up to the rain, I was worried about both not being able to work and run. I didn't get a call from Judith, so I figured things were still on, but it was always a gamble since she lives in Santa Monica and I in Northeast LA. It was rain all the way up to Pasadena, but as soon as I got off the freeway, it was clear. It was good day of work, with a little bit of light rain, and I was happy to know that it hadn't rained in my neighborhood since Natilie woke up (around noon).
We were going for sure today. Natilie had a friend who was flying back in from Chicago that day and wanted to hang out with her, but she, like I, was determined to go running that day since we practically didn't the day before, but he still wanted to drop by before he made his way back up to Ventura. So he came along, took a book and sat on a bench as we made our rounds.
It was such a beautiful day. It seemed all the rain in the area happened in the morning, as the trails were almost completely dry. The sky was amazing; looking to the north you can see the ominous dark clouds of rain, and directly above us and to the south directly over the towering buildings of the Financial District were breaks in the fluffy white clouds and the bright blue California sky was peeking through. As we made our first lap, we saw this amazing formation that looked like a baby pegasus on a cloud directly over downtown. It was pretty cool to see. The air was very clear and clean too, and worried that it was going to be very cold, we layered up a bit, because one can always peel away at clothing, and being cold while working out is scary.
MONDAY, 21 JANUARY 2008
LAP 1: 19.57.46
LAP 2: 16.44.57
LAP 3: 16.50.12
TOTAL: 53.32.15
Overall, we did great, in my opinion. Our walk was a smidge faster than usual, maybe because we were cold and we wanted to get the blood running through our veins already, but what I was impressed with were our run/walk laps. Neither she or I felt winded going around, but it seems as though we're getting a bit faster without the fatigue. It could be partially due to the clean air we were running in, but either way, I was very happy with our pace, even though Natilie's friend only saw us walk whenever we passed by.
I was proud of our pace. Chatting makes the time go by a lot quicker, and before we knew it, it was time to run again. The run intervals seemed to go by quicker, too. To ensure we didn't overdo it, I would try to keep a half step behind Nadilie, so neither of us would try subconsciously push each to an uncomfortable pace.
Just to make things easier on myself mentally, I tried to make a point to NOT check my watch every few steps to see that only 10 seconds passed since my last check, and be disappointed the run was still happening. It is hard not to check; two minutes is a very short period of time to run, so it's easy to see if you're in the first or second minute still. Instead, I would look ahead to mark the sport where I would check my watch. I made sure that the spot was a good distance away, because I know we cover a lot of ground, and strangely enough, the spot I designated as the check spot would be just around the time we were done with our sprint. Maybe I'm starting to get a feel of what I'm capable of doing again, as I used to be able to do that before when training for the maratahon, too.
That makes me happy.
What makes me not so happy is the fact that it seems like it's been raining all night tonight, or at least for the good part of the early morning. Natilie doesn't have school today, so she wanted to go running with me after work. I'm not sure if our plans to run will be rained out. I guess that means we got to jump on the bike and play some Wii Boxing...
It was predicted to rain around Monday, but reports said that it would start later in the evening. Natilie had the day off, but I was going to work with Judith to take advantage of the day of no rain, because if we waited until Tuesday and it was guaranteed rain, we'd be screwed to work.
As happy as I was to wake up to the rain, I was worried about both not being able to work and run. I didn't get a call from Judith, so I figured things were still on, but it was always a gamble since she lives in Santa Monica and I in Northeast LA. It was rain all the way up to Pasadena, but as soon as I got off the freeway, it was clear. It was good day of work, with a little bit of light rain, and I was happy to know that it hadn't rained in my neighborhood since Natilie woke up (around noon).
We were going for sure today. Natilie had a friend who was flying back in from Chicago that day and wanted to hang out with her, but she, like I, was determined to go running that day since we practically didn't the day before, but he still wanted to drop by before he made his way back up to Ventura. So he came along, took a book and sat on a bench as we made our rounds.
It was such a beautiful day. It seemed all the rain in the area happened in the morning, as the trails were almost completely dry. The sky was amazing; looking to the north you can see the ominous dark clouds of rain, and directly above us and to the south directly over the towering buildings of the Financial District were breaks in the fluffy white clouds and the bright blue California sky was peeking through. As we made our first lap, we saw this amazing formation that looked like a baby pegasus on a cloud directly over downtown. It was pretty cool to see. The air was very clear and clean too, and worried that it was going to be very cold, we layered up a bit, because one can always peel away at clothing, and being cold while working out is scary.
MONDAY, 21 JANUARY 2008
LAP 1: 19.57.46
LAP 2: 16.44.57
LAP 3: 16.50.12
TOTAL: 53.32.15
Overall, we did great, in my opinion. Our walk was a smidge faster than usual, maybe because we were cold and we wanted to get the blood running through our veins already, but what I was impressed with were our run/walk laps. Neither she or I felt winded going around, but it seems as though we're getting a bit faster without the fatigue. It could be partially due to the clean air we were running in, but either way, I was very happy with our pace, even though Natilie's friend only saw us walk whenever we passed by.
I was proud of our pace. Chatting makes the time go by a lot quicker, and before we knew it, it was time to run again. The run intervals seemed to go by quicker, too. To ensure we didn't overdo it, I would try to keep a half step behind Nadilie, so neither of us would try subconsciously push each to an uncomfortable pace.
Just to make things easier on myself mentally, I tried to make a point to NOT check my watch every few steps to see that only 10 seconds passed since my last check, and be disappointed the run was still happening. It is hard not to check; two minutes is a very short period of time to run, so it's easy to see if you're in the first or second minute still. Instead, I would look ahead to mark the sport where I would check my watch. I made sure that the spot was a good distance away, because I know we cover a lot of ground, and strangely enough, the spot I designated as the check spot would be just around the time we were done with our sprint. Maybe I'm starting to get a feel of what I'm capable of doing again, as I used to be able to do that before when training for the maratahon, too.
That makes me happy.
What makes me not so happy is the fact that it seems like it's been raining all night tonight, or at least for the good part of the early morning. Natilie doesn't have school today, so she wanted to go running with me after work. I'm not sure if our plans to run will be rained out. I guess that means we got to jump on the bike and play some Wii Boxing...
BOO Weekend Plans
SATURDAY: I woke up at 6am with a pounding headache. I guess one drink too many and not enough water was the result of that. Took 2 Tylenol with some cherry limeade and tried to go back to sleep. Unfortunately, I had to be at my parent's so we could go to a baby shower, which left me no time to actually go running after all the day's activities.
SUNDAY: Natilie wanted to go running with me since we both were too busy to do it the day before, but she didn't want to go in the morning. That slightly disappointed me, because I'd prefer going earlier than later, even though it's been pretty nice to go running when it was slightly warmer. Instead, we were planning on going running after she hung out with someone in the afternoon, so I waited. By the time she came home and we were ready, we got to the park around sunset.
After Friday and the pain we both associated with it, we agreed that we try having faster walks but easier runs. We had this back and fourth trying to claim the other was the one that was making ourselves go faster. It was a lot of "No! Your pace is faster so I needed to keep up!" "No, you're faster because of your competitive nature and I wanted to make sure I don't get behind!" "No! youw ere the fast one because I don't to this fast unless I'm with you!" "No, I just freak out because you just start running!" Needless to say, we were pretty scared about running because we really didn't want to feel the same way as Friday, as Natilie's lungs were burning after that run (it was a rather smoggy day).
It was very pretty, and the weather was cool, but the park also closes at sunset and they really do enforce that closing time by kicking people out.
We only got to do our walk lap and probably 1/4 of a lap afterwards, a lot of which we jogged just because we weren't going to run much else. Yeah, I was slightly disappointed about that, too.
SUNDAY, 20 January 2008
LAP 1: 19.46.87
LAP 2: 08.23.23 (Partial)
TOTAL: 28.10.10
Based on the time we did on that partial, it looks as though we covered a lot of track on that partial lap, and it may have been closer to 1/3 a lap instead of 1/4.
Oh well.
SUNDAY: Natilie wanted to go running with me since we both were too busy to do it the day before, but she didn't want to go in the morning. That slightly disappointed me, because I'd prefer going earlier than later, even though it's been pretty nice to go running when it was slightly warmer. Instead, we were planning on going running after she hung out with someone in the afternoon, so I waited. By the time she came home and we were ready, we got to the park around sunset.
After Friday and the pain we both associated with it, we agreed that we try having faster walks but easier runs. We had this back and fourth trying to claim the other was the one that was making ourselves go faster. It was a lot of "No! Your pace is faster so I needed to keep up!" "No, you're faster because of your competitive nature and I wanted to make sure I don't get behind!" "No! youw ere the fast one because I don't to this fast unless I'm with you!" "No, I just freak out because you just start running!" Needless to say, we were pretty scared about running because we really didn't want to feel the same way as Friday, as Natilie's lungs were burning after that run (it was a rather smoggy day).
It was very pretty, and the weather was cool, but the park also closes at sunset and they really do enforce that closing time by kicking people out.
We only got to do our walk lap and probably 1/4 of a lap afterwards, a lot of which we jogged just because we weren't going to run much else. Yeah, I was slightly disappointed about that, too.
SUNDAY, 20 January 2008
LAP 1: 19.46.87
LAP 2: 08.23.23 (Partial)
TOTAL: 28.10.10
Based on the time we did on that partial, it looks as though we covered a lot of track on that partial lap, and it may have been closer to 1/3 a lap instead of 1/4.
Oh well.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
KEEP BREATHING
FRIDAY'S RUN
Who knew the day would ever come and my muscles would actually stop hurting from the running. Even my gimpy foot's pain was lessened to this strange, almost pain-like sensation.
It's too bad my lungs failed on me.
This was another late-ish afternoon run that I did with Natilie (thus going a little later). It was slightly warmer, and the sky looked slightly smoggier. Maybe I was excited that I've run the pain from my body, and I could really start working, or maybe it's the fact that Natilie has a faster running stride than I.
Friday, 18 January 2008
LAP 1: 20.50.50
LAP 2: 16.22.08
LAP 3: 17.02.64
TOTAL: 54.15.22
The walk lap is obviously longer than when I run alone. That may be because of the fact that I do normally walk fast from going to UCLA and having to haul ass from one side of campus to another (as if I have anything to complain about the smallest UC campus in area; even though LA is the West Virgina of them all - small, but very hilly), and the fact that I've spent lots of time with taller people who have longer natural strides. Whatever. It also could be the fact that we're subconscious strolling as we chit chat about things. I'm not one to stroll along blissfully with myself while getting lost in my thoughts.
But the runs are pretty intense. I shouldn't say intense, but maybe with the two of us together, we just want to push ourselves and get the job done asap; the more ground we cover during those 2 minutes, the sooner we'll be done, right? Maybe, but we were both hurting after some time, and that third lap was really killing us. It could have been a combination of a lot of things including the factors stated above, as well as the fact that for the first time since starting this routine, I've never seen the park so empty (after all, who in their right mind would be running in a park on a Friday afternoon when there's happy hour to be had?) Granted, I've lost most meaning of days of weeks, but it was Friday, Natilie had a long work week, I've had a long week, and maybe we weren't mentally there. Either way, it hurt my lungs and it hurt to breathe. It came to the point that when I was running, parts of my body would start feeling numb, and all too familiar feeling. There wasn't enough oxygen circulated through my system.
I hate having asthma. I hated it when I first got it and couldn't understand what as happening to me when I was being chased by my 4 year old sister and she caught up to me because I could no longer breathe. I hate the feeling when I inhale to fill my lungs, I just stop as if my lung capacity is full, even though I know there should be a lot more intake. Wheezing is annoying, but running and feeling the lack of oxygen going to my legs and arms and head is the worst feeling in the world. I truly am surprised I survived the 6 months working towards and running a marathon, because just thinking about running for that long seemed like a cruel joke for me. Still, even with adhering to a healthful diet, exercising regularly, and training correctly, I just can't do anything to improve and strengthen my lungs. I have to depend on my inhaler if I want to do anything physically straining. I even had a dream about using an inhaler last night, something to the homage of the different kinds of inhalers there were back in the day and asthmatics could compare what they were on by asking what color inhaler they had. Yay for asthma solidarity, but boo for asthma all around.
I really wonder what my life would be like if I never had it.
Who knew the day would ever come and my muscles would actually stop hurting from the running. Even my gimpy foot's pain was lessened to this strange, almost pain-like sensation.
It's too bad my lungs failed on me.
This was another late-ish afternoon run that I did with Natilie (thus going a little later). It was slightly warmer, and the sky looked slightly smoggier. Maybe I was excited that I've run the pain from my body, and I could really start working, or maybe it's the fact that Natilie has a faster running stride than I.
Friday, 18 January 2008
LAP 1: 20.50.50
LAP 2: 16.22.08
LAP 3: 17.02.64
TOTAL: 54.15.22
The walk lap is obviously longer than when I run alone. That may be because of the fact that I do normally walk fast from going to UCLA and having to haul ass from one side of campus to another (as if I have anything to complain about the smallest UC campus in area; even though LA is the West Virgina of them all - small, but very hilly), and the fact that I've spent lots of time with taller people who have longer natural strides. Whatever. It also could be the fact that we're subconscious strolling as we chit chat about things. I'm not one to stroll along blissfully with myself while getting lost in my thoughts.
But the runs are pretty intense. I shouldn't say intense, but maybe with the two of us together, we just want to push ourselves and get the job done asap; the more ground we cover during those 2 minutes, the sooner we'll be done, right? Maybe, but we were both hurting after some time, and that third lap was really killing us. It could have been a combination of a lot of things including the factors stated above, as well as the fact that for the first time since starting this routine, I've never seen the park so empty (after all, who in their right mind would be running in a park on a Friday afternoon when there's happy hour to be had?) Granted, I've lost most meaning of days of weeks, but it was Friday, Natilie had a long work week, I've had a long week, and maybe we weren't mentally there. Either way, it hurt my lungs and it hurt to breathe. It came to the point that when I was running, parts of my body would start feeling numb, and all too familiar feeling. There wasn't enough oxygen circulated through my system.
I hate having asthma. I hated it when I first got it and couldn't understand what as happening to me when I was being chased by my 4 year old sister and she caught up to me because I could no longer breathe. I hate the feeling when I inhale to fill my lungs, I just stop as if my lung capacity is full, even though I know there should be a lot more intake. Wheezing is annoying, but running and feeling the lack of oxygen going to my legs and arms and head is the worst feeling in the world. I truly am surprised I survived the 6 months working towards and running a marathon, because just thinking about running for that long seemed like a cruel joke for me. Still, even with adhering to a healthful diet, exercising regularly, and training correctly, I just can't do anything to improve and strengthen my lungs. I have to depend on my inhaler if I want to do anything physically straining. I even had a dream about using an inhaler last night, something to the homage of the different kinds of inhalers there were back in the day and asthmatics could compare what they were on by asking what color inhaler they had. Yay for asthma solidarity, but boo for asthma all around.
I really wonder what my life would be like if I never had it.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
The Pain Dulls
After a long night that involved a bit of drinking, I decided to go out a little later than "usual," particularly after how nice it was to run later like the day before. I did help myself by wearing the right shoes that has the best foot support other than y running shoes out, so I think that helped me tremendously even when I woke up under the covers fully dressed, jacket and all.
Today was a bit warmer and definitely sunnier, and there were far fewer people there than I ever seen (I went around quarter to 2). Although my foot was still smarting a bit, it was subtle, dull pain. When I got to walking the first lap, I came to realize the reason it's hurting so much was because I've been running on it wrong. My natural stride is to run with my feet straight, rather having them turned out a bit or running with the outside of my feet. I almost have flat feet, and my shoes have a moderately aggressive arch to it - it is better support, but these are my shoes that I got after getting my arches used to the support with a less aggressive pair, I think it's been too much for it. Because of it, I think I've been running by putting most of my weight on the outside of my foot, causing it to hurt, because my shoes are designed to cushion and support my feet according to my stride, and now my foot isn't happy the way I was running.
Good thing I caught that early on, and during my first lap today, as I immediately corrected that and made sure I was running properly. I think I was focused on my upper body running form, I didn't realize I had to pay attention to my feet as well. So I went about running the right way, and it's made a world of difference.
LAP 1: 19.30.44
LAP 2: 16.53.48
LAP 3: 17.08.12
TOTAL: 53.52.04
Looks like it's made a difference with my time, too. I thought I had gone a little slow on my walk lap, even though it has improved, but I'm pretty impressed that my interval laps are showing some progress. The aches in my muscles are less noticeable, and even though I do get winded and it becomes difficult for me to breathe, I seem to be recovering a little faster, or at least fast enough for me to actually notice it. My after running high is greater too, and even though I've been resting a lot recently (That may be partly due to the less sleep I've been getting), I'm feeling strong and good. The foot still hurts, though, but not as much, and I took another bath in epsom salt today, which felt nice on my achy muscles.
Today was a bit warmer and definitely sunnier, and there were far fewer people there than I ever seen (I went around quarter to 2). Although my foot was still smarting a bit, it was subtle, dull pain. When I got to walking the first lap, I came to realize the reason it's hurting so much was because I've been running on it wrong. My natural stride is to run with my feet straight, rather having them turned out a bit or running with the outside of my feet. I almost have flat feet, and my shoes have a moderately aggressive arch to it - it is better support, but these are my shoes that I got after getting my arches used to the support with a less aggressive pair, I think it's been too much for it. Because of it, I think I've been running by putting most of my weight on the outside of my foot, causing it to hurt, because my shoes are designed to cushion and support my feet according to my stride, and now my foot isn't happy the way I was running.
Good thing I caught that early on, and during my first lap today, as I immediately corrected that and made sure I was running properly. I think I was focused on my upper body running form, I didn't realize I had to pay attention to my feet as well. So I went about running the right way, and it's made a world of difference.
LAP 1: 19.30.44
LAP 2: 16.53.48
LAP 3: 17.08.12
TOTAL: 53.52.04
Looks like it's made a difference with my time, too. I thought I had gone a little slow on my walk lap, even though it has improved, but I'm pretty impressed that my interval laps are showing some progress. The aches in my muscles are less noticeable, and even though I do get winded and it becomes difficult for me to breathe, I seem to be recovering a little faster, or at least fast enough for me to actually notice it. My after running high is greater too, and even though I've been resting a lot recently (That may be partly due to the less sleep I've been getting), I'm feeling strong and good. The foot still hurts, though, but not as much, and I took another bath in epsom salt today, which felt nice on my achy muscles.
My Legs Are So Hairy
I'm not sure if I buy the "Pain is fear leaving the body." I just think pain is just lots of things working itself out.
This is yesterday's account. I woke up to the radio to hear how unbelievably cold it was at the time. Then again, we're in the middle of winter, but I guess thinking about going out in that cold wasn't so nice sounding. On top of that, I was still in a marginal amount of pain from the day before, and I decided to give my body a bit of a break today and sleep in a bit and do my run later in the day.
It was going to happen that way anyway. Natilie came with me after our schedules would work for each other. I have to say, I was looking forward to it, and it was very beneficial to the both of us.
She was very reluctant to start, and had forewarned me that she'd be bitching and complaining and would probably stop running with me. I told her that it's okay, we can separate, but she didn't see the point in going together if we weren't running together. Even though she did volunteer to give out water when I was training for the marathon, she never really saw how it was I trained, or just forgot. So I told her of my interval running, and that I was currently walking 3 and running 2. She said she could handle that.
Wednesday 16 January, 2008
LAP 1: 20.10.15
LAP 2: 18.25.79
LAP 3: 16.09.92
TOTAL: 54.45.86
There is a discrepancy of time between laps 2 and 3; I forgot to mark the lap about 10 yards in, and if I recall, it was during a walk interval. There may have been up to a minute off there.
It was great motivation to have Natilie around with me so I could talk with someone, it made the time go by so much faster, which made me happy. My foot continued to hurt a bit, which probably still accounted for the slowness, but I have to say, the running laps went really fast and we did excellent time. Unfortunately, my foot continued to hurt, and it would hurt even more when I took off my shoes and walked without it.
It was really nice to be running when it wasn't so cold. Granted, when I was training for the marathon, that's all I really knew (slight exaggeration), but I think it really contributed to my injuries and pain. As nice as it is to run alone and get lost in your thoughts, having someone alongside you as you go around the place makes the trip much, much more pleasant.
This is yesterday's account. I woke up to the radio to hear how unbelievably cold it was at the time. Then again, we're in the middle of winter, but I guess thinking about going out in that cold wasn't so nice sounding. On top of that, I was still in a marginal amount of pain from the day before, and I decided to give my body a bit of a break today and sleep in a bit and do my run later in the day.
It was going to happen that way anyway. Natilie came with me after our schedules would work for each other. I have to say, I was looking forward to it, and it was very beneficial to the both of us.
She was very reluctant to start, and had forewarned me that she'd be bitching and complaining and would probably stop running with me. I told her that it's okay, we can separate, but she didn't see the point in going together if we weren't running together. Even though she did volunteer to give out water when I was training for the marathon, she never really saw how it was I trained, or just forgot. So I told her of my interval running, and that I was currently walking 3 and running 2. She said she could handle that.
Wednesday 16 January, 2008
LAP 1: 20.10.15
LAP 2: 18.25.79
LAP 3: 16.09.92
TOTAL: 54.45.86
There is a discrepancy of time between laps 2 and 3; I forgot to mark the lap about 10 yards in, and if I recall, it was during a walk interval. There may have been up to a minute off there.
It was great motivation to have Natilie around with me so I could talk with someone, it made the time go by so much faster, which made me happy. My foot continued to hurt a bit, which probably still accounted for the slowness, but I have to say, the running laps went really fast and we did excellent time. Unfortunately, my foot continued to hurt, and it would hurt even more when I took off my shoes and walked without it.
It was really nice to be running when it wasn't so cold. Granted, when I was training for the marathon, that's all I really knew (slight exaggeration), but I think it really contributed to my injuries and pain. As nice as it is to run alone and get lost in your thoughts, having someone alongside you as you go around the place makes the trip much, much more pleasant.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Powering Through the Pain
Today was rough.
Maybe I'm overdoing it a bit, especially after yesterday. I failed to mention that I did 100 ab crunches and 10 10-second squats, then ran, then spent half the day hauling boxes here and there, trying to navigate myself up and over this flat file case that's in the middle of a small storage unit. Oh, I was also hauling lumber around, including a full-sized door (which was hollow, but still). I was all sore and hobbly before the end of the day.
Needless to say, this morning was a bit rough. On top of the fact that I went to bed around 1 and woke up around 6, I just stayed in bed and listened to the radio until I got up sometime after 7 to get ready to leave by 8 (and at the very least I had the motivation to get out of here; I parked my car on the street sweeping side). It didn't seem as cold, but my muscles were definitely hurting. The time it took me to get about definitely showed, too:
LAP 1: 20.45.47
LAP 2: 18.16.49
LAP 3: 18.20.17
TOTAL: 57.21.93
Yikes. At least, I didn't have to be anywhere this morning. It wasn't that it really hurt a lot, but I'm just all stiff-feeling. What did hurt was when I was doing my first walk lap, I walked through this bit of shade that was FREEZING cold. It was pretty brisk as it was, but going where the sun don't shine was definitely very cold, and I could feel it in my bones. At least it seems that my lungs can keep up; I didn't really feel like I was winded until towards the end of the third lap, but then again that could have been a mental thing for me.
What is difficult is that I'm starting to feel same pains that I've felt before. As soon as I put on my left shoe, I instantly feel that damned tongue digging into my foot, and I think that spot where it digs in is getting more and more tender. It's hard to adjust it, and the only way to keep it from hurting, I have to loosen that shoe. That proves to be a challenge in its own, for now I have a semi-loose shoe, so it doesn't fit perfectly. That may be the reason why my right foot is hurting. It smarts at the outside bottom of my right foot, and I do have something of a limp when I'm walking. As great as I feel after each run interval and after the workout in general, my body is tired. It's definitely not used to all this pain. I'm considering skipping out tomorrow, but I know it will get better soon, and maybe I can just go out there tomorrow just to walk the three laps.
I would like to think that I know my limits. That I know when the pain is negligible and not dangerous in ways to injure me, or when it's a pain that's telling me that I must stop or suffer the consequences now or sometime very soon. Even a nice, hot soak in an epsom salt solution didn't seem to be that helpful (though it did feel nice and was a bit more limber a bit after the bath).
It's hell week, and it's not even half as bad as it could be. I can get through this. I just have to power through the pain. After that, it won't hurt anymore and I'll be stronger for it.
Maybe I'm overdoing it a bit, especially after yesterday. I failed to mention that I did 100 ab crunches and 10 10-second squats, then ran, then spent half the day hauling boxes here and there, trying to navigate myself up and over this flat file case that's in the middle of a small storage unit. Oh, I was also hauling lumber around, including a full-sized door (which was hollow, but still). I was all sore and hobbly before the end of the day.
Needless to say, this morning was a bit rough. On top of the fact that I went to bed around 1 and woke up around 6, I just stayed in bed and listened to the radio until I got up sometime after 7 to get ready to leave by 8 (and at the very least I had the motivation to get out of here; I parked my car on the street sweeping side). It didn't seem as cold, but my muscles were definitely hurting. The time it took me to get about definitely showed, too:
LAP 1: 20.45.47
LAP 2: 18.16.49
LAP 3: 18.20.17
TOTAL: 57.21.93
Yikes. At least, I didn't have to be anywhere this morning. It wasn't that it really hurt a lot, but I'm just all stiff-feeling. What did hurt was when I was doing my first walk lap, I walked through this bit of shade that was FREEZING cold. It was pretty brisk as it was, but going where the sun don't shine was definitely very cold, and I could feel it in my bones. At least it seems that my lungs can keep up; I didn't really feel like I was winded until towards the end of the third lap, but then again that could have been a mental thing for me.
What is difficult is that I'm starting to feel same pains that I've felt before. As soon as I put on my left shoe, I instantly feel that damned tongue digging into my foot, and I think that spot where it digs in is getting more and more tender. It's hard to adjust it, and the only way to keep it from hurting, I have to loosen that shoe. That proves to be a challenge in its own, for now I have a semi-loose shoe, so it doesn't fit perfectly. That may be the reason why my right foot is hurting. It smarts at the outside bottom of my right foot, and I do have something of a limp when I'm walking. As great as I feel after each run interval and after the workout in general, my body is tired. It's definitely not used to all this pain. I'm considering skipping out tomorrow, but I know it will get better soon, and maybe I can just go out there tomorrow just to walk the three laps.
I would like to think that I know my limits. That I know when the pain is negligible and not dangerous in ways to injure me, or when it's a pain that's telling me that I must stop or suffer the consequences now or sometime very soon. Even a nice, hot soak in an epsom salt solution didn't seem to be that helpful (though it did feel nice and was a bit more limber a bit after the bath).
It's hell week, and it's not even half as bad as it could be. I can get through this. I just have to power through the pain. After that, it won't hurt anymore and I'll be stronger for it.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Hell Week
Oh, it hurts.
By no means am I putting myself through Hell Week like I had in High School, when we did nothing but conditioning for the first week before we actually started practicing soccer. We really were put through hell, and I just remember not being able to hang due to my really poor stamina. In a way, I kind of wish I was able to push myself to that limit, but I knew that it would be too much for me. Especially since I actually had to work today.
I wanted to go earlier, but I was a bit weary going out so early with it being dark. I do have a smidge of concern for my safety sometimes, I guess. Then I remembered the park is officially open from 8am to sunset. I decided to play by the rules (a bit), and planned on going around 7:45.
LAP 1: 18.55.13
LAP 2: 17.14.92
LAP 3: 17.07.52
TOTAL: 53.17.57
Going in the morning meant it was considerably colder than when I went yesterday closer to noon, and I kept my fleece pullover on for most of the time. The first lap was walked at a brisk pace, and I decided to try running. This time, I didn't set to try running for 3 and walking for 2; instead, my interval started walking 3 and then ran for 2. It turned out a lot better than I thought. I think the walks were of ideal length, and the runs were short but effective, but I eventually became a bit winded, but nothing that I couldn't manage. At least I didn't experience the pain I did yesterday, but I still became noticeably short of breath.
I think I'll keep this pace for the time being.
By no means am I putting myself through Hell Week like I had in High School, when we did nothing but conditioning for the first week before we actually started practicing soccer. We really were put through hell, and I just remember not being able to hang due to my really poor stamina. In a way, I kind of wish I was able to push myself to that limit, but I knew that it would be too much for me. Especially since I actually had to work today.
I wanted to go earlier, but I was a bit weary going out so early with it being dark. I do have a smidge of concern for my safety sometimes, I guess. Then I remembered the park is officially open from 8am to sunset. I decided to play by the rules (a bit), and planned on going around 7:45.
LAP 1: 18.55.13
LAP 2: 17.14.92
LAP 3: 17.07.52
TOTAL: 53.17.57
Going in the morning meant it was considerably colder than when I went yesterday closer to noon, and I kept my fleece pullover on for most of the time. The first lap was walked at a brisk pace, and I decided to try running. This time, I didn't set to try running for 3 and walking for 2; instead, my interval started walking 3 and then ran for 2. It turned out a lot better than I thought. I think the walks were of ideal length, and the runs were short but effective, but I eventually became a bit winded, but nothing that I couldn't manage. At least I didn't experience the pain I did yesterday, but I still became noticeably short of breath.
I think I'll keep this pace for the time being.
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