Facon It

Those who know me pretty well know that I have a thing for fake meat products. I am in love with Trader Joe's Meatless Meatballs, and the chick'n nugget line of Morningstar Farms is so yummy. I just love the texture and the taste of not-real meat. Eating soyrizo is also very good, though kind of tricky to cook; it just shows that it's really a matter of seasoning sometimes that make food taste really good.

Today I expanded my fake-meat horizons and tried perhaps one of the greatest fake meat items ever: Fake bacon.



It smells like bacon, it tastes like bacon, and hell, they even marble the strips like it's a mix of animal muscle and fat like real bacon...except it's not! This is not one for the vegans, however (and it should be noted that Morningstar Farms foods - from what I've read - have egg in them), but at least for those who care, you won't have to carry the guilt you're eating the tasty remains of an animal that got to live a life outside a fetal state before it's put in your tummy. Actually, some of the ingredients aren't the easiest to read, but that doesn't mean the stuff is bad for you.

On to the strip itself. It's packaged in a thin box, where the strips are laid just like the real bacon strips are, and when you pull them apart, they kind of that that familiar, slimyish feel to it. The texture itself is something between turkey bacon and Beggin' Strips you give your dog...and has the same thickness of turkey bacon, but it looks more like what you feed your dog. I'm pretty sure from what people have told me, this stuff does not taste like Beggin' Strips, because I hear those taste like yuck. These are actually good.

You can fry them, bake them, or nuke them. I would have wanted to use the toaster oven, but I didn't want to soil the foil around it, so I opt for the microwave. the directions were simple: Heat until crispy. As one who tries not to be a skeptic, I helped myself to two strips, placed them on a plate, and watched them take a spin in the microwave as the smell of bacon permeated the room. I guess I wasn't sure what to expect when they were in there: will they crinkle, or will the stay the same shape? The latter happened, and when it was done, I took it out of the microwave, and picked one up.

It was firm and crispy! When I took a bite, it was crunchy! Best of all, it tasted of BACON! I was happy. As with most fake-meat products, I enjoyed the texture of the stuff, maybe because I didn't have that annoying task of gnawing through the soggy, chewy fatty bits I wish was burnt to a crisp. They're also not that salty, either, so that was pretty good. Either way, to complete my enjoyment of the stuff, I busted out some brown rice to eat with it, because nothing says yummy more than crispy bacon and rice.

Just like chicken nuggets or real meatballs, I don't think this "meatless" alternative would really take the place of the real thing (it just might replace the cheaper real thing). I guess one can think of it as a full strip of a Baco bit...and thicker. Still, if I were to run into the Morningstar section of the grocery store and see they're on sale, I'm pretty sure I'd stockpile.