It's Like...Leaving Shangri-La, or Something.

THIS WAS WRITTEN FRIDAY/SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 8/9, 2008

I'm pretty convinced at this point that I was put on this earth to see how well I can fuck up my own life.

It is unfortunate for my fate that it seems my fate has been thwarted time and time again by the graces of angels and amazing people.

It seems like it's in my cards that I should just become a workaholic.

After all, I really don't have much going for me in my life besides work right now, and that's been proven most of this week as soon as I've got off work. It's just the biggest nightmare as soon as I leave work.

Let's start at Tuesday.

I get off at 5:20 to make sure to make my appointment I've arranged at 6. That journey proved to be the most frustrating and rage-inducing trip, which included scraping the bottom of the side of my car along the curb when a van decided to take two lanes when he turned left. Of course, people were out full force that night, and by some luck, I was able to find parking on Melrose (granted, it was a good 2-2.5 blocks away from where I needed to be).

I get there a few minutes after 6, with plenty of time to get my appointment in without having to cut into her 6:30 appointment. Then it was the long haul to M-town. For some reason, maybe it was a casual mention in an email from my favorite 73 year old eccentric, or the other emails from friends reminding me to vote, but I decided that Voting was indeed a really good idea. That of course meant that I had to make the looooong haul to Monrovia. Of course, coming from the black hole of a freeway area as Melrose made it rather difficult, particularly with the rush hour/voting traffic.

On the way, I realized that I had a perfect opportunity to pick up some almonds I needed to cook later in the week, so on my way, I ran into Whole Foods, loaded a pound of nuts (it's rather surprising how good I am at eyeing a pound, especially since I haven't done that in a few years), checked out in a wink. That was about 7:30.

I also realized that since I was in the area, I might as well go to the ONE Rite Aid that actually makes refilling my perscription easy without the horrible hassles I've experienced in other locations (easy, satellite refills from any location MY ASS), so I called them up and said that it would be waiting for me. Nice. I also had to check the PO box, but as it was getting closer to 8, I knew that as out of the way it would be to backtrack, but I couldn't afford any more time.

I got to the polling station at 7:50, and I guess showing up with my voter booklet proved to be a chore, as I had to verify I was at the right polling place. When I went in to check myself in, they noticed I had the same name as someone else. And oh, I have the same middle initial as my mom, too? Oh, dear. Even though I knew it was a waste of my time, I called the parents in a vain attempt to get my voter registration number. As I thought, they didn't even know where those booklets were. They just told me to not vote. That's when the quasi-quiet rage started. Of course, I was still halfway in the church at the time, and it took all my will to contain my anger, and I talked in that angry whisper into my phone. When I realized it was wasting more time just being angry on the phone, I hung up and went back to the registration desk with only a few minutes to go.

I left the polling place SO ANGRY...


...with my "I VOTED" sticker on. Went to the post office and then Rite Aid, and went to the parents to cuddle kitties.




Wednesday was just an emotionally bad, bad, bad day. I left work at 5:15 and it took me so long to get home. I was a sad, pathetic, crying mess. I think I did manage to make food and eat it, but my plans to start packing for the trip, but the emotional drain just took a lot out of me, and tried to distract myself from the negativity, only to wind up not falling asleep until 3.

I still woke up and started my morning at 6:15.




And then there was Thursday.


It was errand running time, and Ii definitely had to pack that day, as I had dinner plans Friday night that I'd go to straight after work, and then it was straight home to the parents' as we were flying out first thing in the morning. I left work at 6 to make sure I got to Samy's before they closed at 7. It took me an hour just to get there, and i was running on fumes the entire time. I got there in the nick of time, and it was good I knew exactly what I needed and where to find it. I then took about 15 minutes just to find the Chevron I passed by earlier, but couldn't get to it as I was in the wrong lane and I couldn't turn left at that hour, anyway.

I was happy as a clam, puttering my way down to the 10 down Fairfax behind a bus, but what did I care? I was en route to home, finally! Then I realized the envelope that contained my work's credit card was no longer in my possession. It was in an envelope I didn't want to get rumpled, as it was going to be used to send an invitation for a fancy, fundraising dinner, and needed to show it to our printer first thing in the morning to see if he had any smaller envelopes that would fit perfectly in it. I put the credit card in there, to make sure not to separate them, as I had to pay for the printing I had to pick up. I didn't leave it in my car, because I parked behind someone, and had to leave my key with the valet. Of course, I was 3/4 of the way to the freeway. I panicked. I could not believe how stupid and careless I was. My lack of sleep was definitely affecting me as it did for most of the day. I tried calling the store, even though I knew that they were closed and they would have the answering machine already fired up. I left a message anyway. Then I decided to turn around, figuring that even though it was 30 minutes after closing, SOMEONE had to be there.

When I got there, the parking lot was still open, and found the security guard who I greeted when I got there the first time and asked if I needed help looking for what I needed. He was doing some general maintenance outside, when I went up to him in a panic, telling him my story, about how I was just there, and had my receipt in hand to prove it if I needed to, and how I just started the job and already succeeded in messing things up in a big way. He let out this frustrated groan, then dropped the hose, closed a gate, and told me to follow him. He remembered me from when I popped in and then right out 45 minutes earlier. He had to go open the security door, and the main door, then disarm the place, and he asked me where I was. I beelined to where I was, to find nothing. He looked in some drawers behind the counter, and I pointed out who helped me out (it does help to work at a photo store; you'd have fun with your goods), and knew PJ would be here in the morning.

Completely crestfallen, I slowly turned to leave with my head down, only to find the envelope sitting at the bottom of a bin next to the counter. It was the biggest relief I think I've ever felt I think in my life. I then kept thanking him as I was thanking him from the start, and asked for his name: Garland. He led me out and made sure to lock everything up, and I kept thanking him, and he said there was nothing to it - he knows how it is to lose and misplace things, so he knew what I was going through. As the security gate was lowering, I kept thanking him, and then offered to get him something from Jack in the Box across the street, and the smell of curly fries was tempting me the first time I was there. He said that I could perhaps next time, and I went on my way.

I had to make a quick stop to the grocery store to pick up the final ingreidents of the almonds, and of course picked the wrong line yet again. I have this uncanny skill at picking the line where there's someone redeeming WIC, and I thought there wasn't anyone of the sort in my line, but she literally came out of nowhere (her items were stored off to the side).

I FINALLY got home over two hours after leaving work, realizing what I had to do that night/morning. Fortunately I was going to go into work later because I was going straight from work to the dinner the next day. I get a call and talk to Greg, and told him of the horrors of the evening and the week thus far, and then brought up the possibility of postponing the dinner yet again. It was going to be a bit of an inconvenience for all parties involved, as everyone had something strange do deal with. I'm not sure if it was selfish of me, but I was kind of looking forward to the night, as I thought it would be the one good thing that could happen to me after work all week. I then passed out for a few hours, only to wake up around 1 with a giant

Then it was the loooong journey back home, but I first had to stop by the grocery to pick up sugar and cinnamon to complete the rest of my almond recipe. It was such a relief for me to be home, even though I needed to accomplish everything in such a short period of time. Just as I got my self sorted on what I needed to do, I got a call from Greg, asking me how my day went since I had such a horrible day previously before. I told him of the crappy after work time I had, and he mentioned that one of his car's tires were running flat, and it seemed that the plans for dinner was working against everyone involved, and thought about postponing it. For some reason, I was a bit upset at the idea, as it seemed to be the one thing that would be going for me during week as soon as I got off work, and having lamb and whisky sounded awfully good and a great kick off for my going away for a week. Instead of cooking almonds or packing, I only managed to get my luggage out, throw in a few articles of clothing that had the potential of going on the trip, and went under the sheets to rest from the shear exaustion and not-good-feeling that was slowly getting worse.

I woke up around 1:30 with a massive headache, and decided to make myself something to eat, and use the neti pot to possibly clear up whatever congestion I could, on top of the Tylenol. That combo seemed to help, and managed to narrow down more of clothing selections and went to bed for a few more hours before I was to get up when the alarm went off around 6:15.

Got up and started making almonds. I was really apprehensive about making it, as it was the first time I've done such a thing in years, and I was working on a new stove with a new pot, and I feared I'd wind up making burnt almond brittle. It turned out fairly well; I have made better, but it wasn't bad given the circumstances. Then it came to the daunting task to do a final packing. I was fully packed and happy, and was going to take my victory shower when I got a call from Greg confirming that the dinner was postponed for another time when I was back. I was crushed. Seriously crushed. Instead of getting more rest to nurse the sickness away, I was juggling preparing for going on a trip while trying to be a gracious enough guest as possible for the wonderful dinner I'd be having. I lost it a little, and I guess I shouldn't have been so short with Greg, but at the same time, I really shouldn't have been so upset given how my week was going in general. Instead, I took a sorrow shower, gathered my life for the next week, bid my dying roommate and made my trek to Studio City where I was once again convinced my "professional" life is going so much better than my personal life when I had to pick up printing from the nicest copy/printer guy ever.

When I finally made it to work, I think Heidi could kind of sense something with me was a bit off. I told her of my great one full week working, but sad about the fact that whenever my work day ended, nightmare day started. And I was telling her that I'd joke that after my first full week of work, I'd need an equally long vacation to recover from that. And then I mentioned that it's not really my brand new job from which I'm escaping, I'm escaping from my life. After dealing with the Summer of Hell, the Fall Falling Out, getting sick all the time, being broke, partially unemployed, and then lose what was basically the one thing going good in my life.

I was thinking that with the way things were going for me, it would be best if I became a workaholic, because that would really solve the whole life-falling-apart bit. But when I told Heidi about my crazy after work life, she simply said that I needed to get out of the context of my life, relax and just escape.

And I guess that putting my life aside for a week as I'm shipped around paradise isn't a bad way to go.