KEEP BREATHING

FRIDAY'S RUN

Who knew the day would ever come and my muscles would actually stop hurting from the running. Even my gimpy foot's pain was lessened to this strange, almost pain-like sensation.

It's too bad my lungs failed on me.

This was another late-ish afternoon run that I did with Natilie (thus going a little later). It was slightly warmer, and the sky looked slightly smoggier. Maybe I was excited that I've run the pain from my body, and I could really start working, or maybe it's the fact that Natilie has a faster running stride than I.

Friday, 18 January 2008
LAP 1: 20.50.50
LAP 2: 16.22.08
LAP 3: 17.02.64
TOTAL: 54.15.22

The walk lap is obviously longer than when I run alone. That may be because of the fact that I do normally walk fast from going to UCLA and having to haul ass from one side of campus to another (as if I have anything to complain about the smallest UC campus in area; even though LA is the West Virgina of them all - small, but very hilly), and the fact that I've spent lots of time with taller people who have longer natural strides. Whatever. It also could be the fact that we're subconscious strolling as we chit chat about things. I'm not one to stroll along blissfully with myself while getting lost in my thoughts.

But the runs are pretty intense. I shouldn't say intense, but maybe with the two of us together, we just want to push ourselves and get the job done asap; the more ground we cover during those 2 minutes, the sooner we'll be done, right? Maybe, but we were both hurting after some time, and that third lap was really killing us. It could have been a combination of a lot of things including the factors stated above, as well as the fact that for the first time since starting this routine, I've never seen the park so empty (after all, who in their right mind would be running in a park on a Friday afternoon when there's happy hour to be had?) Granted, I've lost most meaning of days of weeks, but it was Friday, Natilie had a long work week, I've had a long week, and maybe we weren't mentally there. Either way, it hurt my lungs and it hurt to breathe. It came to the point that when I was running, parts of my body would start feeling numb, and all too familiar feeling. There wasn't enough oxygen circulated through my system.

I hate having asthma. I hated it when I first got it and couldn't understand what as happening to me when I was being chased by my 4 year old sister and she caught up to me because I could no longer breathe. I hate the feeling when I inhale to fill my lungs, I just stop as if my lung capacity is full, even though I know there should be a lot more intake. Wheezing is annoying, but running and feeling the lack of oxygen going to my legs and arms and head is the worst feeling in the world. I truly am surprised I survived the 6 months working towards and running a marathon, because just thinking about running for that long seemed like a cruel joke for me. Still, even with adhering to a healthful diet, exercising regularly, and training correctly, I just can't do anything to improve and strengthen my lungs. I have to depend on my inhaler if I want to do anything physically straining. I even had a dream about using an inhaler last night, something to the homage of the different kinds of inhalers there were back in the day and asthmatics could compare what they were on by asking what color inhaler they had. Yay for asthma solidarity, but boo for asthma all around.

I really wonder what my life would be like if I never had it.